People often seek out communication with an ex out of loneliness, boredom or a nostalgic yearning for the past -- none of which make calling your ex-boyfriend a good idea. While calling your ex can lead to repeating mistakes from the past, there are certain ways to go about this delicate conversation if you decide, in fact, that your reasons for making contact are justified.
Take a moment to consider why you want to call your ex-boyfriend in the first place. Are you feeling lonely or missing the old days? Do you want to feel loved? What is it that you hope will come out of the phone call? Self-inquiry such as this can help you to decide if calling him is a good idea.
Send an email or text message before making the call. You don't want to catch him off guard or preoccupied, which can make the phone call awkward. Shoot a short, brief message like, "Hi Craig, hope all is well. I'd like to call you, if that's alright. When is a good time?" If you don't hear back, it's better that you don't call.
Keep your conversation casual and friendly when you make the call. If you have a specific reason for calling him -- maybe you need your old notebook back or perhaps you want to tell him that you're moving far away -- be polite, but direct about it. If you're just calling to talk, begin the conversation by asking how he's been and maybe tell him about any interesting things you've been up to lately. Don't talk about the past or start confessing how much you miss him. Even if that is the case, it's in both of your best interests to take things slow. You also don't want to scare him off by coming on too strong this soon.
End the phone call if things become tense or uncomfortable. He might have mixed emotions about talking to you at first, so be patient and redirect the conversation toward something lighthearted if you can. But if he is angry, accusative or disrespectful toward you, further communication with him isn't going to lead you anywhere you want to be, and it is best to end the conversation and resist the urge to try and initiate friendly contact again.
Seek out communication with a friend or family member when you realize that calling your ex may not be a good idea. Oftentimes, advice and encouragement from loved ones is all a girl needs to feel confident and optimistic again.
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