The day-to-day grind can take its toll on a marriage, sucking the passion right out of it. If this describes your situation, then you may feel trapped or helpless to improve the romantic element of your marriage. Don't lose hope. With counseling and hard work, your marriage can become healthier and filled with love. If you are not sure where to start, try some of the basic tips that many experts give to struggling couples.
Make a conscious decision to treat your spouse as though you were dating the person. This means pursuing your spouse, complimenting your spouse, going out on dates, preparing surprises and having meaningful conversations. Remember how exciting it was when you first met and fell in love. You can reignite some of those old feelings by adopting some of the behaviors that created them.
When people first fall in love, their bodies produce massive amounts of feel-good hormones. Over time, these hormones decrease and reduce the intense feelings of infatuation and desire. This decrease is normal and does not necessarily mean that you don't love one another. While it is important to keep the spark going, understand that mature love is very different from nascent love. Care, commitment and deep affection characterize long-lasting love.
Between kids, jobs, chores and money concerns, many couples forget to have sex. Sex is absolutely essential to cultivating love in marriage. In many ways, sex is the glue that holds couples together. Try having sex every night for one week, and watch how interactions with your spouse change for the better. If sex has become boring, try mixing it up with different positions, locations or toys.
Reigniting love in a stale marriage requires numerous life changes. If your marriage is stuck in a routine, then it may be difficult to adjust your behavior or attitude toward your spouse. You can help overcome this with a basic trick: Rearrange the furniture in your home. People naturally associate certain activities and feelings with their surroundings. By moving your furniture around, you will break some of these associations and give yourself a chance to establish new, more positive ones.
In many loveless marriages, couples have failed to communicate about what sorts of things make them feel loved. Perhaps you buy her flowers once a week, but she really just wants to spend some time cuddling. Maybe you compliment him all the time, but he wants you to help him with the home repairs. Ask your spouse what you can do to make your spouse feel loved and tell your spouse what sorts of things make you feel loved. If you know what gets each other going, it will be much easier to cultivate the love in your marriage.