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How to Get a Woman to Develop a Deep Emotional Connection With You

by Alysia D. Roehrig, studioD

An emotional connection creates the basis to give and receive the necessary emotional support. The reason many fail to develop this connection is because they lack the ability to recognize attempts to connect made by those around them, according to Dr. John Gottman, a clinical psychologist and internationally acclaimed relationship researcher. His research studies show that husbands disregard bids for connection from their wives 82 percent of the time in relationships headed for divorce.

Listen and Show Interest

Talks between lovers or friends are characterized by one person speaking, with the other making monosyllabic noises to indicate they are listening. This makes conversations profoundly one-sided. An active listener pays attention and shows he is interested. For example, ask follow-up questions, prompting her to expound upon the topic. Being a good listener is a valuable quality.


Reciprocity is a powerful emotion that taps into a person’s need to give back to someone. Sharing stories about yourself triggers a reaction for the other person to also share stories. The compulsion to share makes her feel closer. Additionally, sharing stories that make you seem vulnerable allows her to see a sensitive and softer side of you. She feels safer expressing her emotions with a strong yet sensitive man.

Show Commitment

A woman freely invests emotionally in a relationship that is solid. Show commitment by putting her first. Helping with simple activities such as cooking and cleaning allows her to deepen her emotional connection with you. Being emotionally or physically distant makes her apprehensive, as she may fear a potential break-up.

Never Lie

At the beginning of a relationship, some men lie to create intrigue and interest, but problems could arise if the relationship is successful. For example, you may tell a rehearsed story as a pick-up line, but later, she inquires about a character in your story, forcing you to either admit the lie or create more lies to cover up. Dishonesty creates mistrust between lovers.

About the Author

Alysia Roehrig began writing in 1997. Her work has been published in various online publications. She is a teacher and educator with experience teaching first grade and special education. Roehrig holds a Ph.D and an Master of Arts in psychology from University of Notre Dame.

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