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How to Know if a Woman You're Dating Is Really Interested

by Anthony Oster, studioD

Several signs exist that can determine if the woman you are dating is really interested in you, or if she is just biding her time until another potential date comes along. Signs that she is interested in you can include how she interacts with you, whether she answers your calls and her enthusiasm to meeting with you. By evaluating these factors, you may be able to determine if the woman you are dating is really interested in you, or if your time might be better spent pursuing someone who is interested.

Nonverbal cues

A woman's nonverbal cues may be the most telling example of how she feels about you. Your ability to recognize these cues may be all you need to know if she is interested in you. Cues like smiling, laughing and leaning in toward you during conversations may show that she is romantically interested in you. While this concept may seem simple, some men may have a difficult time understanding the nonverbal cues that women send, as indicated in a 2001 study published in “Psychological Assessment.” The study designers asked men to group photographs of women based on their physical similarities. In many cases, the men grouped women as to how they were dressed, versus the emotional expressions displayed on their faces, suggesting that men may pay less attention to subtle nonverbal stimuli than to other, more obvious characteristics.


Behaviors like being cheerful and positive in your presence, including you in her social networks and creating relationship rituals like an on-going Friday lunch date, may be signs that she is interested in you, as examined in the December 2009 issue of the “Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.” On the other hand, behaviors like avoiding your calls or discussing her previous romantic relationships or other romantic interests, may indicate that she is not interested in dating or that she perceives your friendship as more platonic than romantic.


Flirting is an important part of many romantic relationships, and it may be a strong indicator of whether the woman you are dating is interested in you -- or, if your relationship is more platonic than romantic. Of the behaviors identified in maintaining a platonic friendship, avoiding romantic encounters and the lack of flirting ranked among the most commonly used strategies to keep a relationship firmly grounded in the "Friend zone."

Readiness to Respond

If the woman you are dating readily responds to your phone calls, texts and requests to go out, chances are that she is interested in you. On the other hand, if you find that she takes hours to respond to texts, rarely picks up the phone and otherwise comes up with excuses when you ask her out, she may not be as interested as you might hope.

About the Author

Anthony Oster is a licensed professional counselor who earned his Master of Science in counseling psychology at the University of Southern Mississippi. He has served as a writer and lead video editor for a small, South Louisiana-based video production company since 2007. Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company.

Photo Credits

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