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How to Get Your Wife to Notice You Again

by Michael Hutchins

If you are married and feel ignored by your wife, it may be a sign that the relationship needs work. It is natural for intimacy and passion to ebb and flow over time, according to relationship experts, but not to point where you both feel isolated. It is time to take a personal inventory and concentrate on what steps you can take to put the marriage back on track. When you wife becomes aware that you are making the effort, she will likely reciprocate.

Exercise. Regardless of your present appearance and physical condition, you can always improve. If you were fit and trim when you first started dating your wife, try and achieve that look again. Not only will you look great but your wife will appreciate your increased confidence. Also, by improving how you look and feel, you increase the chances of attracting your wife to you physically again. After you improve your fitness, buy some clothes that show off your physique.

Sign up for a couples activity you both can enjoy. Pepper Schwartz, PhD, recommends physical activities such as dancing or hiking. Doing new things together is exciting and shakes up a routine. Involvement in charitable work can also help couples bond, Schwartz states. Or, you might consider creative activities, such as a photography or poetry class, and allow your wife to see a different and appealing side to your personality.

Listen. In a long-term relationship, communication is mandatory for success. Instead of talking primarily about yourself, ask your wife questions that give her the opportunity to reveal what is important to her. As she is speaking, make frequent eye contact or nod your head to let her know you are listening. Don't interrupt; instead, wait until she is finished speaking and ask open-ended questions. By becoming a good listener, your wife will become aware of how much you care.

Plan a romantic weekend together. Take care of all the details and preparations and surprise your wife with your plans. If possible, select a destination for an overnight stay. Going out of town together is exciting and takes you out of your familiar routine. Get dressed up and have a romantic dinner at a fine restaurant. If you have a special restaurant that you frequented while you were dating, that would be an appropriate choice. During dinner, avoid talking about the past and focus on your future together.

Tip

  • Express more of your personal feelings to your wife. By being more open, you appear more vulnerable, which can be an appealing quality.

Warning

  • Don't expect your wife to notice your positive changes immediately. It will time for her to become aware of them. Expecting too much too soon can lead to frustration.

About the Author

Based out of Houston, Texas, Michael Hutchins is a personal trainer who has been writing health and fitness-related articles since 1995. His articles have been featured in "Houston Health & Fitness Magazine." Hutchins has a Bachelor of Arts in speech arts from Hofstra University, Hempstead, N.Y.

Photo Credits

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