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Turning a Platonic Friendship Into a Relationship

by Carissa Lawrence, studioD

So you have a good friend of the opposite sex and are perfectly content with things as they stand. Then one day, while eating a casual dinner with your friend, you look across the table and suddenly your heart begins to flutter. What do you do now? Maybe you can turn your platonic friendship into a relationship. It's worth a try.

Think It Through

Before you try to turn your friendship into a relationship, make sure it is the right decision for you. Consider the pros and cons of going from friends to lovers. It could be as wonderful and perfect as you imagine, but there's also a possibility that things won't work out. Think about your friend's relationship history. Will he be able to give you what you want in a relationship? Keep in mind that having romantic feelings for someone doesn't guarantee a happy future.

Take a Step Back

If you want to turn a friend into something more, try making yourself less available. If your friend appreciates your presence in her life, this will make her miss and want you more, writes psychologist Jeremy Nicholson in the Psychology Today article, “Escape the Friend Zone: From Friend to Girlfriend or Boyfriend.” If she realizes that she misses you when you are not around, she may be more willing to reciprocate your romantic feelings.

Try Tenderness

Touch is a fundamental factor in human communication and bonding, according to Dacher Keltner, professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley. When trying to turn a platonic friend into a boyfriend, increasing the amount of physical contact will send subtle messages to his brain that will associate you with good vibes. Don't attempt a “friends with benefits” situation, as this may turn you into the friend to call when a date goes bad. Instead, try things such as brushing stray hair out of his eyes, squeezing his hand to make a point or touching his arm or shoulder in passing.

Have the Talk

If you really want to know if your best friend can be your best girlfriend, you should sit her down and tell her how you feel. It is important to be honest when talking about the potential of a relationship, according to dating and relationships author Dave Singleton in the Happen Magazine article, “Can You Be More Than Just Friends?” Emphasize how much her friendship means to you, and tell her about your reluctance to reveal your feelings at the risk of losing the friendship. While it may not be easy, accept the response she gives you.

About the Author

Based in Gainesville, Carissa Lawrence is an experienced teacher who has been writing education related articles since 2013. Lawrence holds a master's degree in early childhood education from the University of Florida.

Photo Credits

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