No relationship is easy 100 percent of the time. In a long-term relationship, there will certainly be more than a few stressful life issues that get in the way. Children, money problems, work and insecurity all impact a relationship. Knowing this up front will help you cope.
If you are planning to have kids, know that your relationship will change. Bringing kids into a relationship will not only mean more responsibilities, but also less alone time for you and your partner. The work and energy of caring for and raising a child means more stress for parents, according to KidsHealth.org. A child can also cause jealousy in the relationship. For example, a dad may be jealous that the mother is devoting more of her time to the child than to him, or he may feel left out if the mother has a stronger bond with the child.
Financial problems cause stress in relationships. If money is tight, it is common for either partner to blame the other person, writes relationship counselor Denise Knowles in an article on Britain's National Health Service Choices website. Another way money can become a stressful topic is when the couple disagrees about how to spend it. Women view money in terms of security and are more likely to worry about savings, while men are more likely to take risks with money, according to a Psychology Today blog by Terri Orbuch, professor of sociology at Oakland University and a research professor at the University of Michigan Survey Research Center.
Work stress can be hard to turn off once you clock out. It can be easy to bring that tension home and take it out on your partner. During stressful times at work it can be hard to separate job stress from relationship stress, according to a Match.com article. Work stress can also affect a relationship if one person feels that the other partner's career is taking precedence over their relationship. It doesn’t help that laptops and cell phones make work easier to take home.
If one person is insecure in the relationship, that not only causes stress for him, but for his partner as well. According to a study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin in 2007, when a person is insecure, he is likely to view his partner’s behaviors and intentions through a negative lens and respond negatively. For example, if a girl tells her insecure boyfriend that he looks handsome, he might interpret her compliment as insincere or sarcastic and in turn respond with a negative comment. Someone who is self-conscious about his body may also feel uncomfortable being intimate with his partner, which can cause more stress in the relationship.
- KidsHealth: How Becoming Parents Can Affect Your Relationship
- NHS Choices: Financial problems and relationships
- Psychology Today: Don’t Let Money Ruin Your Relationship
- Match.com: Stress Is Ruining Our Romance!
- Today: How to cope when your partner’s job comes before you
- PsychCentral: Insecurity Undermines Relationships
- Stockbyte/Stockbyte/Getty Images