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Tips on Telling Your Ex Girlfriend You Want Her Back

by Keri Dillingham

When you have loved deeply and the relationship ends, you're crushed. Regrets build up as you ruminate over what went wrong. Suddenly, you find the courage to go that final round and try to win your ex-girlfriend back. But if courage is the first step, the next one is having a plan of action, so here are some tips to make it as successful an attempt as possible to get that girl back into your life.

Reach Out to Show You Care

Sending a message is a good way to let your ex-girlfriend know you are thinking about her, but send just one.

While the two of you may not be seeing much of each other, or even on speaking terms, if you are in the beginning stages of your breakup, she hasn't forgotten about you. Reaching out might just be what you need to open the lines of communication. If it has been a significant period of time, you might try sending a message or a text to see if she is receptive to speaking with you, but only attempt this once as even one more time could be viewed as invading her space.

There's One Side to Everything

Stick to addressing what you could have done differently when you are the one attempting to rekindle the relationship.

We all know there are three sides to every breakup: yours, hers, and the truth. The more time you spend contemplating what your role in the break up could have been, what you could have done differently, and why you chose to act and react the way you did, the closer you will come to the truth. Breaking patterns that led to the failure of the relationship is your key to making it work a second time around. Once you recognize what must be done differently express it to her, provided she is willing to hear it. Just be sure to focus on your side only and no pointing fingers. Most likely, she has been wondering where it all went wrong, too.

What to Promise, and What Not to Promise

In your attempts to win her back, be sure to make only the promises you can keep. If you make empty promises, you will repeat history and your relationship won't have a fighting chance. Only you know whether the changes you would need to make are worth it. Don't change or settle for less than what you deserve, simply because you don't want to be alone. Be sure you really do want to rekindle this romance for the right reasons before you try to win her back.

Good Old Fashioned Wooing

Here it is! She has returned your message. You sure you want to be with her again and you are willing to make the changes necessary for it to work. Now, it's time for some good old fashioned courting. A famous quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald sums it up best: "I love her and that's the beginning of everything." This is a new beginning, so ask her out on a date. You must treat this as you would a brand new relationship. Reflect on her likes and dislikes, so that you can be truly thoughtful in planning moments that will win her heart.

About the Author

After having earned two degrees in psychology, Keri Dillingham continues to focus her time researching and studying the intricate nature of the human relationship. She worked as a victim's advocate for those subjected to domestic violence, and, as such, is adept at discussing and reviewing topics that directly relate to healthy relationships and positive lifestyles.

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