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Tips to Keep a Guy's Attention

by C. Giles

You've got a date with a guy you've had your eye on for a while, but that's only half the battle. Now you need to make sure he stays interested. While it is important to be yourself, you should also keep a little distance in the initial stages of dating to keep his attention.

An Air of Mystery

When you meet someone you like it is tempting to share your life story with him from the outset. Holding back will give you an air of mystery and keep his attention. Be yourself, but don't reveal too much of your past or your dreams and ambitions right away. Let your guy think you have an interesting life that doesn't involve him. Don't always jump at the chance to meet up with him. If he suggests going out on a specific evening, tell him you already have plans and ask if he can make it the following evening instead. This tells him that you are still keen but have other social commitments. He'll want to know what you are up to.

Don't Be Too Available

No matter how much you want to contact a guy, making him think you're not always available will keep his attention. In the Cosmopolitan article, "5 Times You Shouldn't Text Him," psychologist Diana Kirschner suggests keeping texting to a minimum, and the same goes for social media messaging. When your guy texts or emails you, wait a short time before responding. You will seem more of a challenge to him if he's never quite sure when he'll hear from you. Kirschner warns against texting when angry or under the influence of alcohol. It's difficult to take back something you've written in the heat of the moment or when you're not thinking straight, and it could put a guy off.

Play a Little Game

Play hard to get. Blow hot and cold. It's the thrill of the chase, the "Romeo and Juliet" effect. Whatever you call it, it is well known for being an effective strategy for attracting a potential love interest, says professor of philosophy Aaron Ben-Zeév, in the article "Is It Worth Playing Hard to Get?" on Psychology Today's website. Alternate periods of flirtatiousness and interest with periods of not appearing quite so keen to keep a guy's attention. Be careful not to act too cold or withdrawn or he might conclude that you're genuinely not interested and give up the chase, warns Pam Spurr, a psychologist, in the article "Men Really Do Prefer The Thrill Of The Chase, Say Scientists" in the Huffington Post.

Out of the Bedroom

If you are really attracted to a guy it can be difficult to delay intimacy, but making him wait could be the key to keeping his attention. If you have sex before you've developed an emotional connection, he might become less keen after you've been intimate. A guy often finds "the chase" exciting, says Spurr, and he wants to think he'll be the one to win a girl over.

About the Author

C. Giles is a writer with an MA (Hons) in English literature and a post-graduate diploma in law. Her work has been published in several publications, both online and offline, including "The Herald," "The Big Issue" and "Daily Record."

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