When relationships are going south, there's usually some warning sign. If your boyfriend is starting to feel less than enthralled about being with you, he probably won't come out and say so right away. However, you can still tell what's going on by looking for some of the most common signs of relationship boredom. Even if it's too late to change things, at least you can avoid being surprised.
If he's spending less time with you overall, it's not necessarily a bad sign. However, if he's spending less time with you without there being a good reason for it and if he seems to be perfectly fine about the fact that you see each other less, there could be a serious problem. This is especially true if he's taken on a new habit of trying to talk his way out of time with you or if he blows you off for other plans. "When your relationship is falling apart, you look for reasons not to go home," writes psychologist Stephanie Sarkis in an August 2012 article for "Psychology Today." "You drive home filled with dread. " However, if he still seems enthusiastic about seeing you in the limited time you have together, this is a mixed message, and you'll want to hash things out to get to the bottom of it.
If your time together seems to be punctuated by a lot of awkward, uncomfortable or just plain boring silences, it could be a sign that he feels less committed to the relationship than he used to. This kind of silence may happen every once in a while if there's something on his mind or if he's tired, but if it becomes the new norm in your relationship, be wary. Try to talk to him about the issue and see if you can get a satisfactory answer about what's wrong. But if he is starting to tire of the relationship, you may not get one.
Passionate arguments may not be fun, but they're a sign that he's still invested emotionally. However, if arguments perpetually remain unfinished or simply peter out, it may be a sign that he no longer cares to invest the energy in your relationship issues. In his book "Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage," psychologist Greg Smalley outlines the discontent that a lack of arguing indicates. "Satisfied couples are more likely to discuss issues of disagreement, whereas dissatisfied couples are more likely to minimize or avoid conflict." Again, this may simply be a sign that he's going through a rough or tiring time, but if the pattern continues to worsen, it may be time to see what happens if you insist on finishing a fight and bringing an issue to resolution.
His words may be a sign that he's growing bored with the relationship. He's less likely to make heated, angry comments, but he might make frustrated remarks about disappointments with you and your activities together. He may be unwilling to elaborate on these comments and simply want to drop the matter if you confront him.
- Psychology Today: "Signs You're Headed For A Breakup"
- "Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage"; Dr. Greg Smalley.
- Jupiterimages/Comstock/Getty Images