our everyday life

Teen Love Problems

by Margo Upson

Teen love is hard. Most people fall in love for the first time as a teenager, dealing with very adult emotions and situations. Falling in love, especially as a teenager, is exciting, but there are many problems, too. Some of the most common problems with teen love include a lack of maturity, different plans for the future and insecurity.

Maturity

Being a teenager is tough. Teens are caught between childhood and adulthood. Being interested in finding a boyfriend or girlfriend is normal. Unfortunately, most teenagers aren't prepared for the level of maturity a real relationship requires. Love takes a lot of give and take, something not all teenagers are prepared for. There may also be problems in different maturity levels between the couple; if one teen is more mature than the other, the relationship may lead to a lot of frustration and misunderstandings.

Time

Between school, work, homework, and get-togethers with their friends, teens may have difficulty making time for a relationship. Most teenagers have curfews, and many aren't able to drive. The relationship may depend on getting rides to the movies or to restaurants with family members. Many teens find that being in a relationship is detrimental to their grades, due to the extra time spent with (and thinking about) their significant other, creating problems at school and with family members, which can hurt the relationship.

Future Plans

During the late school years, teens begin to think about their futures, planning for college and careers. This becomes a problem for teen love when the couple don't have similar plans. If one is going to college in another state, and the other is staying home, there may be problems. Although this is not a problem in some relationships, teen love may suffer if there are other differences in the future plans of the couple. If one is planning on moving out of state permanently, joining the armed forces, or even traveling for a while, the other half of the couple might feel left behind. Many teens who are graduating and leaving home also want the freedom to explore new experiences, without needing to check back with a boyfriend or girlfriend at home.

Peer Pressure

Peer pressure can be a significant problem for teen love. If a girl's friends don't approve of the boy she likes, she may break off the relationship to preserve the friendships. If a boy is getting taunted by his friends because of his girlfriend, he might break up with her to fit in. This becomes even more of a problem with gay or lesbian teenagers. Even teens who have "come out" may find it difficult to openly date another teen. The nontraditional relationship may cause a lot of problems at school and with family members, as some people have a hard time accepting the different type of relationship.

Hormones

The teenage years are the first time people experience lust, and all of the confusing feelings that go with it. One of the biggest problems with teen love are all of the changes taking place in a teen's body, combined with conflicting views from friends, family and the media about the physical side of teen relationships. There are a lot of reasons to abstain from intercourse as a teenager, and a relationship may run into problems if one person wants more physical intimacy than the other is ready for.