Surviving any breakup is hard; surviving a Christian breakup, whether a marriage or a long-term relationship can be especially devastating. You may not have wanted the relationship to end, but despite your earnest prayers, your partner did not have the same commitment to the relationship that you did. While healing from the pain and loss of the relationship takes time, you can make the process easier.
Recognize this is a loss, much like a death. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the relationship and the loss of your dreams. This process includes denial as a defense mechanism, anger and attempting to blame your ex, bargaining and trying to make a deal with God to get the person back, depression and not wanting to try and acceptance and moving on with your life. While you might not experience each stage of the process, or go through the stages in order, an awareness of the emotions you might struggle with helps you process through your grief.
Journal your thoughts and feelings. Write down your emotions to help you process your grief. In time, as you read back over your journal, you will be surprised at how far you have come.
Pray. It is even OK to be angry with God for a time, but move past your anger. God did not cause the divorce or breakup. Your partner had a choice in the matter and used his free will. Prayer will calm you as you vent your emotions to God. He is big enough to handle your pain and to comfort you.
Read your Bible, especially the Psalms. This is one of the most comforting books of the Bible. Meditate on the difficulties that David, the author of most of the Psalms, experienced; remember how God delivered him from his troubles.
Talk with your family and friends. They should provide a good support system and will encourage you as you go through this process. Don't overwhelm them with continuous pity parties.
Join a support group. Talking about the breakup to strangers can help, but don't go looking for a new partner. If you still need help and can't move past the pain, don't hesitate to seek professional counsel, either from a spiritual leader at church or from a therapist.
- Wait at least six months before you become involved in another serious relationship. You need time to grieve, and jumping into a new relationship is not fair to either you or the new person you are dating. You are not a failure. Just because the relationship failed doesn't mean your life is over. You will laugh again, and maybe even love again.
- man and woman divorced image by Ivonne Wierink from Fotolia.com