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How to Stop Your Neighbor From Bullying

by Remy Lo

While images of your home being a place of rest and happiness may be your ideal, issues with neighbors can make reaching this goal seem hopeless. Dealing with a confrontational neighbor can cause stress that can make you dread returning home. Trying to make your neighbor stop his bullying ways can open the door to positive interactions. Gather your courage to address issues, so you can actually enjoy your home life.

Explain your position with confidence and tact. Arrange a formal meeting with your neighbor to discuss your concerns. Express your desire to establish positive communication and to leave the past behind. Use specific examples when making points, as this addresses issues head-on. This approach can eliminate confusion and excuses of not being aware of your standpoint.

Find common ground with your neighbor. Try to uncover underlying reasons for discord by asking insightful questions. Anger over unresolved conflicts with you or hurt over feeling alienated from neighborhood activities can ignite negative feelings. You may even find that your neighbor treats everyone in the same manner or that he’s genuinely unaware of his bullying behavior. Provide a sincere apology if you determine that you provided the reason for adverse feelings.

Rise above the temptation to engage in immature behavior. Although it may seem satisfying to resort to name calling or physical exchanges, doing so can lead to increased tensions with your neighbor. It can even ruin attempts to gain the support of other neighbors. Stay in control over your verbal and non-verbal communication, so that your intentions can’t be mistaken. Enlisting the aid of an impartial observer or delivering your concerns in writing may help you avoid conflict.

Bring backup to the confrontation. Citing applicable community ordinances can discourage your neighbor from continuing his negative behaviors. It also shows that you’re serious about taking your concerns through the appropriate channels, if the bullying doesn’t stop. For example, referencing a statute that bans loud music after a certain time when your neighbor refuses to comply.

Tips

  • Contacting your landlord or homeowners association leader may prove beneficial in your efforts.
  • Making a dedicated effort to remain civil with your neighbor can inspire her to follow your lead.
  • Meeting your neighbor in a public location can reduce your anxiety, which allows you to express yourself better.

About the Author

Remy Lo has been a freelance writer since 2002. He covers a wide range of topics, from politics to personal improvement, and has been published in a literary magazine and several websites.

Photo Credits

  • Stockbyte/Stockbyte/Getty Images