our everyday life

How to Stay Married & Still Have Fun

by Shelli Proffitt Howells

While you were dating, you and your husband knew how to have fun together. Whether it was going out to dinner and a movie, hitting the clubs or simply enjoying a night in, you found countless ways to enjoy spending time together. Of course, marriage requires commitment, responsibility and compromise, but the fun doesn't have to come to a screeching halt the moment you say, “I do.”

Date Night

If you want to keep your love life going, make your relationship a priority, says Carol Sorgen from the article, "Time Together: A Cure for Relationship Problems" on WebMD.com. Plan regular date nights. Schedule them on the calendar just like you would any other important event. Dates don't need to be expensive or elaborate to be enjoyable. Consider creating a Date Jar. With your husband, brainstorm ideas for fun, silly, playful or serious dates. Write them on slips of paper, fold the papers, and place them in a jar. Then, when you are stumped for date ideas, pull a strip from the jar and go for it.

Share Interests

Take an interest in some of your husband's passions, and invite him to enjoy some of yours. For example, you don't have to be a football widow every fall. Learn the rules of the game, get to know some of the players, and invite friends over for games. Have everyone bring a dish like nachos, hot wings or brownies, and make it a potluck. You might find you enjoy football more than you expected. Ask your husband to join you for your morning run, or suggest he help you cook up a gourmet meal in the kitchen. You could try something simple yet delicious, like fondue or barbecue, to appeal to him.

Try Something New

Couples who engage in novel and arousing activities together are happier in their relationships, reports Amie M. Gordon, M.A., in her article “An Antidote to Boredom in Your Relationship” in Psychology Today. That doesn't mean you need to try bungee jumping or sky diving -- unless you want to! Simply break out of your normal routines. Choose a hobby you can enjoy together, take an art class, go hiking, or travel to a different city to explore its entertainment options.

Time Apart

You'll be closer as a couple if you support each other doing individual fun things, says Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., in her article, “Kid Shock: Three Marriage-Saving Tips” in Psychology Today. When your husband heads to his buddy's house for poker night, invite your girlfriends over for games. If he's off hunting over the weekend, take your best friend out for mani-pedis. Enjoy a regular girls' night out. Just remember this rule of thumb: Don't do anything that would hurt your husband if he were present.

About the Author

Based in Southern California, Shelli Proffitt Howells has written numerous articles about family life, marriage and parenting. She is a member of the American Night Writer's Association. She has a Bachelors of Science in zoology from Brigham Young University, which she has found surprisingly helpful while raising a large family.

Photo Credits

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