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How to Help Your Son Deal With His Father's Rejection

by Eliza Martinez

A father's influence is important to young boys, but many mothers face the struggle of taking on both roles for their sons. If your son's father rejects him, it is likely to cause emotional and psychological problems. Providing a caring and understanding environment for your son can help him overcome his dad's rejection and live a joyful and fulfilling life.

Consequences

Growing up after his father rejected him will not be easy for your son. He faces many obstacles and might even display certain characteristics that could hinder his growth and development. Your son may exhibit a lack of competitiveness and ambition, according to Kenneth N. Condrell, Ph.D., on the Achieve Solutions website. He might also have a lack of self-discipline and low self-esteem, he may be lazy, fail to take pride in himself and could become depressed and have a poor outlook on his life. Your son is not doomed to this, however. He may exhibit these behaviors in the months following his father's rejection, but he can recover and have a happy and productive future.

What Moms Can Do

When your son's father rejects him, you have a tough journey ahead of you. You must step in and fulfill the role of dad while also helping your son recover from his emotional wounds. It is important to tell your son the truth, advises family therapist, Carleton Kendrick on the Family Education website. This way he is not forced to stick up for his dad when you say bad things about him and does not feel like you are the reason his dad left if you sugarcoat his reasons for leaving. Use caution when you begin to date new men, adds Condrell. You do not want to let your son attach himself to a new man only for the new man to leave your son, as well. Find alternate male role models for your son, such as an uncle, grandparent or trusted family friend. Offer a listening ear and lots of loving support so your son knows he can rely on you.

Therapy

While not all boys will need it, some young males benefit greatly from seeing a therapist, according to licensed mental health counselor Erika Krull, on the Psychology Today website. This person is neutral in the situation and can offer your son tips and support for dealing with is father's rejection. A therapist is not as close to the situation as you are and can help your child work through is emotional and psychological issues without a clouded perspective. Talk to your son's pediatrician about a referral to an experienced child therapist experienced with treating kids whose fathers abandoned them.

As Your Child Grows

That your son's father rejected your son is likely to have a lasting effect on your son -- even if he works through the issues and lives a happy life. While you might feel that he has recovered and is successfully moving on, it is important to keep a close eye on him, as he gets older because old wounds can crop up and affect him down the road. Your son's teen might lead to dangerous activities that he uses as a way to fill the painful void in his life and might include sexual promiscuity or substance abuse, according to Krull. Hidden insecurities can make it difficult for your son to form positive and lasting relationships and depression can persist throughout his lifetime.

About the Author

Eliza Martinez has written for print and online publications. She covers a variety of topics, including parenting, nutrition, mental health, gardening, food and crafts. Martinez holds a master's degree in psychology.

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