our everyday life

Simple Things to Put the Spark Back in Your Marriage

by Mitch Reid, studioD

While some people dream of marriages that retain the passion of the honeymoon, the reality is that most long-term relationships will hit a few dull patches. Between work, kids and other responsibilities, it’s easy to lose that romantic spark. However, several strategies can help you and your loved one rekindle that flame. These methods are simple. And for the best results, you should incorporate them into your daily interactions with your spouse.

Go Back in Time

Revisiting moments from the beginning of your relationship can help rekindle feelings of intimacy, according to clinical psychologist Barbara Markway in her "Psychology Today" article "A Simple Way to Put the Spark Back in Your Relationship." Share stories about your first impressions of each other, take a look at old photos from your dating years or watch movies that you enjoyed together. You can even recreate your first date. This strategy also can help you remember strengths in your relationship and focus on those, Markway says. For example, maybe you both forgot about the spontaneous habits that helped bring you together in the first place.

Be More Playful

Never underestimate the power of humor to strengthen social bonds. Your goal here is to make your partner smile and laugh as much as possible, whether you use self-deprecating humor, fanciful daydreams or an old-fashioned tickle fight. Avoid passive-aggressive comments that take the form of jokes. They can lead to sarcastic comments that are more caustic than humorous.

Embrace New Activities

Take time to enjoy a new activity or hobby together. From cooking classes to hiking through mountains, many new activities await you and your significant other. Choose something you are both comfortable with, but activities that give you both an adrenaline rush, such as sky diving or watching horror movies, can bring about the most passion. The brain accredits that adrenaline rush you feel to your current relationship.

Pucker Up

Kissing is both intimate and relaxing, and yet some couples leave the passion kisses behind after years of marriage, according to relationship coach and therapist Julie Orlov in her article "Relationship on the Rocks? Five Ideas to Help Reignite That Spark" that ran on PsychCentral.com. To get more of a thrill, replace those quick pecks on the cheek with more passionate kisses. In addition, note that romantic activities, whether they take the form of kissing, hugging or simply holding hands, activate a hormone in the body called oxytocin, which will increase your tender feelings toward each other and help keep that spark ignited.

About the Author

Mitch Reid has been a writer since 2006. He holds a fine arts degree in creative writing, but has a persistent interest in social psychology. He loves train travel, writing fiction, and leaping out of planes. His written work has appeared on sites such as Synonym.com and GlobalPost, and he has served as an editor for ebook publisher Crescent Moon Press, as well as academic literary journals.

Photo Credits

  • Jochen Sand/Digital Vision/Getty Images