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Signs of a Straying Husband

by Nina Edwards

No matter how good your marriage has been, there is always the possibility that your husband may be considering an affair. You may have seen a lot of suspicious behavior over the years. The key is to separate innocent but suspicious actions from those that are real indicators of infidelity. If you know what to look for, you can intervene in time and keep the man that you love.

Working Late Again

Your husband may have always been a hard worker. That is why he is successful. But when his late working habits change, it may be a sign that he is spending time with someone else. In her article, “Ten Warning Signs That Your Husband Is Cheating” on YourTango.com, Shelley Skas says that you should look for the following new behavior. He may suddenly stop answering the phone when you call at night. He may tell you not to call his receptionist or the main phone line at work. Alternatively, he may stay late more often with little or no explanation. If these activities are sudden and there are other factors present, this behavior might be a sign that your husband is straying.

Wow, You Look Good

In her article, “Signs of Infidelity,” counselor Elly Prior points out that any sudden, unusual behavior can be a sign of infidelity. One common change when he is either straying or thinking about doing so is suddenly caring about his appearance. This may include activities such as signing up for a gym; if he is already a member, then if he hires a personal trainer, wears a new cologne to work -- especially one you did not buy for him -- or, if he buys new clothes and wears them to work or packs them on business trips. In isolation, these are not definitive signs, but when combined with other behavior, they might be a sign of infidelity.

No Sex in Ages

One very good sign that he may be straying is his lack of interest in having sex with you. In fact, he may be straying if you two are having sex, but he isn’t happy with it. In their study entitled “Cues to Infidelity” found in “Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin,” Todd Shackelford and David Buss found that sexual boredom was a strong predictor of marital infidelity. If you have tried to initiate and he continues to be uninterested for significantly longer than usual, it is a good sign that he might be straying.

Don’t Talk to Me

Once your husband is comfortably involved in his new relationship, he will often start to bristle at comments that he would not have even noticed in the past. This is even more likely if you bring up the subject of infidelity. Just as troubling would be his avoidance of any discussion of your relationship. Your Tango's Skas points out that any negative change in the way that he communicates with you could be, when combined with other strong signs, a sign of infidelity.

About the Author

Nina Edwards holds a doctorate in clinical psychology and has been writing about families and relationships since 2000. She has numerous publications in scholarly journals and often writes for relationship websites as well. Edwards is a university lecturer and practicing psychologist in New York City.

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