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Signs a New Relationship Is in Trouble

by Sarah Casimong, studioD

When you’re in a new relationship, you’re usually in the honeymoon period -- blissful and full of romance. But if you notice that you're more upset than happy during this stage in the relationship, it’s a sign that things are not off to a good start. By recognizing some of the signs, you may decide to end a bad relationship before getting in too deep.

Dissatisfied With Partner

If your partner seems unhappy with who you are, that is a sign that the relationship is headed in a bad direction. He may be overly critical of your appearance or personality, and he may even push you to change who you are. However, there is a difference between feedback and criticism. Feedback is being supportive with the intention to help you, whereas criticism is a negative comment with the intention to put you down. If your partner is constantly criticizing you and trying to change who you are as a person, it is likely that he doesn't like the real you and neither of you will be satisfied in the relationship.

Incompatible Lifestyles

The relationship is in trouble when your lifestyles don't match up and get in the way of enjoyable time together. If your girlfriend is a workaholic who prioritizes her career above your relationship, this could be a problem if it leaves you feeling neglected. It could also affect dates because she may be too stressed and tired to give you the attention you need. If your boyfriend is an excessive partier, but you're more of a homebody, this could cause conflict in the future when it comes to how you want to spend time together. In "Am I In a Bad Relationship?: Dating 101," physician and psychiatrist Dr. Dwight A. Owens mentions the importance of sexual compatibility. A difference in sex drives could leave one person unsatisfied and lead to problems in the future, such as infidelity.

Future Goals Do Not Align

Although talks about a future together may not come up right away, if you have differing ideas about where you’ll both be in a few years, the relationship may already be doomed. Compromise is required in every relationship, but excessive compromising can be draining on a couple, according to psychotherapist Daniel Rutley in the "Canadian Living" article "Are You and Your Partner Compatible?" Your partner may want marriage and kids, while you may not. You may dream of being a CEO of a company in a big city, while your partner may dream of a quiet life in the country. Conflicting goals don’t look good for the future of the relationship, and compromising a future dream for a partner can cause resentment in the relationship.

Disagree on Life Views

Something is wrong if your differing moral beliefs are the source of many arguments. When both people are strong in their beliefs, disagreements on religion or politics can lead to extreme dissatisfaction in the relationship, according to psychologist Steven Stosny in "Love and Values" for "Psychology Today." These issues likely come up when there are moral choices to be made and can cause friction when neither person is willing to accept that the other won’t change their views.

About the Author

Sarah Casimong is a Vancouver-based writer with a Bachelor's degree in journalism from Kwantlen Polytechnic University. She writes articles on relationships, entertainment and health. Her work can be found in the "Vancouver Observer", "Her Campus" and "Cave Magazine".

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