You might not want to believe the signs when you see them, but when a man wants a divorce, he is usually not very good at hiding it. By being careful to notice small warning signs, you may be able to stop the situation from escalating further. All relationships are different, though, and you must be careful not to jump to conclusions or make unfair accusations without good cause.
It is not a good sign if you notice that your husband is starting to move money around without telling you about it. This could mean transferring money from your joint account or having his salary or wages direct deposited into a new account under his name only. If he usually receives bonus payments at work but has not received them for some time, yet you know he should be, he could be depositing them elsewhere. It could be a case that he is setting up private accounts anticipating a split or divorce, or it could be that he is financially supporting someone else.
If your husband is seriously considering a divorce, then it won't be surprising if his comments toward you have changed from affectionate to critical. In an effort to diminish your confidence and perhaps try to shift the blame to you, your husband could become overcritical of your weight, appearance, hobbies, friends or occupation. Criticism is the weak man's tool against inferiority issues, so try not to take his unnecessary comments seriously.
At the beginning of a marriage, the intimacy you experience is wonderful and sex seems to happen every other night. After years of marriage, having children and different experiences together, it is completely normal to see a change in that pattern. What is not normal is when your husband avoids any form of intimacy or physical contact with you. If you make a conscious effort to communicate with him on an intimate level or entice him on a romantic level only to be rebuffed, he could be sharing that intimacy with someone else and considering a divorce.
Strange Behavior and Lack of Interest
While arguing with your husband may not be enjoyable, it is a relatively certain part of marriage and it can be healthy. Arguing often shows that you both care about what is going on and care enough to debate the topic. When it comes to the point when he gives in immediately and has no interest in talking over issues with you, he has given up already and is probably contemplating divorce. If you are starting to notice unusually strange behavior from him -- secretiveness, extreme changes in exercise regime or diet, taking up new hobbies that absorb all of his free time, spending a lot of time with friends you've never met or who he wont introduce to you -- then he could be using this behavior to hide something potentially damaging like an affair or plans for a divorce.
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