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Signs a Guy Is Trying to Back Out of a Relationship

by Sarah Casimong

Breakups can sometimes feel unexpected, like they came out of nowhere. It might not be until later that you realize there were clear signs your boyfriend was ready to leave the relationship. If you notice something odd about the way he's acting or how he's been treating you, he may be trying to back out of the relationship.

He Acts Like a Jerk

A sign that your boyfriend is ready to leave, but does not want to do the breaking up, is if he is mean for no apparent reason. He may be trying to get you to break up with him so that he won't have to be the “bad guy." According to “Attachment, Breakup Strategies, and Associated Outcomes” published in the “Journal of Research in Personality,” one of the ways people end a relationship is by being rude and unpleasant, forcing their partner to end the relationship. If your guy is picking fights and doing things to make you angry or annoyed, he could be doing it in hopes that you pull the plug on the relationship.

He Avoids You

You may have noticed that your boyfriend is not around as much. His replies to your texts are one-word answers with no follow-up questions, and phone calls seem like one-sided conversations on your end. He might even be avoiding your calls and texts altogether. If he has canceled any upcoming dates, makes no future plans or all of a sudden becomes very busy when you try to see him, these could be signs of an impending breakup. The period of avoidance postpones the breakup while he is trying to figure out how to do it.

He Stops Being Affectionate

When your boyfriend stops showing physical affection like kissing, hugging, touching or sex, it can be a sign that he has lost romantic interest in you and is thinking of leaving. Affection is not only limited to physical touch -- he may also avoid showing affection through words. If he stops complimenting you or calling you pet names, he might not feel the same way about you as he did in the beginning of the relationship. However, this does not always mean he’s thinking of leaving. It’s normal for displays of affection to decrease after couples have been dating for a couple of years, according to Samantha Joel, relationship researcher with a master's in psychology, in "My Partner Has Been Less Affectionate Lately -- What Gives?" for "Science of Relationships."

He Shows No Concern

If your boyfriend shows no interest in you -- he stops asking how you are or how your day was -- it may be because he has stopped caring about you. He might hint that he does not want you to tell him what is going on in your life and may avoid deep conversation. You might notice that he isn't emotionally supportive when you need to talk to him about a stressful day at work or drama with a friend. If he brushes off your concerns and isn't as sympathetic or comforting as he once was, it could be because he’s not emotionally invested in the relationship anymore.

About the Author

Sarah Casimong is a Vancouver-based writer with a Bachelor's degree in journalism from Kwantlen Polytechnic University. She writes articles on relationships, entertainment and health. Her work can be found in the "Vancouver Observer", "Her Campus" and "Cave Magazine".

Photo Credits

  • Polka Dot Images/Polka Dot/Getty Images