Sometimes it is difficult to accept or even realize that your girlfriend isn't right for you. It can also be tough deciding how to break things off if you decide she isn't. It is important, however, to evaluate your relationship if you are having doubts and ask yourself if, deep down, this girl is making you happy. If the answer is no, it is only fair to yourself and to her to finish the relationship and move on. There are telltale signs that she isn't the one for you that you can look for to help you make the decision.
Every couple argues; in fact, it is necessary and healthy for a relationship to grow and have open and honest communication. However, excessive arguments that start for no apparent reason, last for hours or even days at a time, involve screaming and shouting and are always difficult to resolve and move on from are not part of a normal and healthy relationship. If you find that you are constantly arguing with your girlfriend and you can't forgive each other and move on from the conflict, this is a sign that you are not compatible and that your differences as people are too great and will only push you further apart.
If you find yourself looking at other women and thinking about them in a romantic way, this a signal that you aren't happy with your current relationship and that your girlfriend isn't who you are supposed to be with. A man can appreciate a member of the opposite sex because of her attractive appearance or charming personality, whether he is in a relationship or not. However, this then turns into a warning sign when he begins to picture being with that woman instead of his own girlfriend and, furthermore, starts to act on those desires. If you have a girlfriend who is right for you, you do not feel the need or desire to explore other options.
Lack of Common Ground
Men and women are different in many ways, and so it is understandable if you have interests that your girlfriend doesn't share. However, if you struggle to find anything in common, this can be a sign that she isn't right for you. Part of the fun and reward of being in a relationship is to enjoy doing things together that you are both passionate about. For example, this could be a mutual love for action movies, a shared artistic nature or similar political ideals. So, although she doesn't need to agree and like everything that you do, and vice versa, it is a sign that she isn't the one for you if have very little in common.
Trying to Change
In a healthy relationship, partners grow and improve together, which sometimes means compromising and altering the way you do things to please each other and achieve balance. This doesn't, however, mean that you should be with your girlfriend with a view to change many aspects of who is she is as a person. Similarly, if your girlfriend is always attempting to change who you are, it's a sign she isn't the one. This can start with simply trying to change her dress sense, which she might see as an integral part of her identity. Although people do change for the better in a relationship, it should come naturally as the couple evolves and should not be as drastic as changing someone's entire appearance or political outlook. Instead you should accept and embrace your girlfriend for who she is, and if you can't, then it means that she isn't right for you.
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- Lucy Atler: Relationship Counselor: Spain
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