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How to Show Love After Being Cheated On

by C. Giles

The thought of showing love to a partner who has cheated on you may seem like an impossible task when you are still coming to terms with the betrayal. If you are committed to resolving issues that led to the affair and rebuilding the relationship, this is a huge sign of your love. It takes courage and strength to stay with a partner who has been unfaithful. During the recovery process, your love for one another will help rekindle the romance.

Identify the Issue

Working out the reason for the affair can be a difficult, emotional stage in the relationship recovery process. Your partner was wrong to cheat on you, but it is important to be willing to admit mistakes you may have made. An affair can be the result of many issues, from jealousy to a lack of intimacy. Most affairs occur when certain needs are not met, either emotional or sexual, says Susan Krauss Whitbourne, professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. Talking to your partner and working together to identify what drove him to cheat is one way to show that you love him and are committed to your future together, says Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist and author of "The Power of Two."

Try to Forgive

It will take time for you to completely forgive your partner for cheating on you, but you can take a step closer to forgiveness every day, says psychologist Phil McGraw. Putting pressure on yourself to forgive him within a certain length of time will only make it harder. By accepting his apologies you are showing that you love him and want to trust him again.

Spend Time Together

Sometimes people have affairs because they feel neglected or unloved by their partners. If your relationship had become less of a priority than it should have been, put it at the top of the list. Arrange to spend time together a couple times a week. No matter how busy you are with work or other commitments, it is important to get back the lost connection. Focus on having fun and resist the temptation to discuss serious issues. By making an effort to inject fun and romance into the relationship, you are showing your partner that you love him.

Help Your Partner

Your partner must regain your trust and make up for the hurt and distress he caused by cheating on you. You can help him by showing a willingness to leave the bad times in the past. Bringing up his affair and reminding him of how much he has hurt you won't help either of you move on, Heitler warns. Try to see the affair as a symptom of an unhealthy relationship, rather than the cause of it. Working with your partner to create a stronger, happier relationship is perhaps the most significant way you can show your love for him.

About the Author

C. Giles is a writer with an MA (Hons) in English literature and a post-graduate diploma in law. Her work has been published in several publications, both online and offline, including "The Herald," "The Big Issue" and "Daily Record."

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