Dating can be difficult for introverts. It's not because they are necessarily shy. Being shy is not the same thing as being introverted. Introverts tend to draw their energy from being alone, rather than being around people. For an introvert, the effort it takes to meet a girl and show her that he likes her can be exhausting. The trick is to find a comfortable way to do it.
Be up front with her about the fact that you are an introvert. Otherwise, her feelings might be hurt if she asks you to a loud party or concert and you turn her down. Even if you do manage to attend the party, it is likely that she will notice your discomfort and incorrectly attribute it to the fact that you are not fond of her, rather than the fact that you are an introvert. In this case, it's true that honesty is the best policy.
Focus On Her
Nothing shows a girl that you like her more than paying close attention to her. In addition, focusing on her might distract you from uncomfortable feelings you may be having, especially if you are in a large group of people. To do this, maintain eye contact with her, smile, and maintain relaxed body language. Don't cross your arms, as comes across as resistant and defensive. If it doesn't make you too uncomfortable, touch her gently on her arm while she is talking to encourage her and show her that you are listening.
Find Common Ground
Introverts tend to give, rather than take, which is an admirable trait, but it can drain you dry. Yes, catering to her tastes may make her happy at first, but in the long run, your energy will be depleted and you will not be a very good boyfriend. To prevent this, try to find common interests. That way, you can show her a good time without sacrificing your own comfort.
Let Her Talk
It's not a myth that women talk more than men. Girls talk earlier than boys and acquire language skills faster. Women, on average speak 13,000 more words each day than men, and a 2013 University of Maryland Medical Center study even found that women have higher levels of a "language protein" in their brains. As an introvert, you probably prefer to let her do the talking anyway, so sit back and enjoy the flow of words, while asking a few well-placed questions to keep pump primed. Being a good listener is a great way to show her that you like her and are interested in what she thinks, and it's probably not going to be a chore.
- Huffington Post: 6 Things You Thought Wrong About Introverts
- Christie Hartman Ph.D: Are You an “Attractive Introvert?”
- Psych Central: 5 Quick Dating Tips For Introverts
- Huffington Post: Biological Evidence May Support Idea That Women Talk More Than Men, Study Says
- Society for Neuroscience: Language Protein Differs in Males, Females
- Digital Vision/Digital Vision/Getty Images