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How to Secretly Move Out of an Emotionally Abusive Marriage

by Alexandra Bee

Dealing with an emotionally abusive marriage may leave you feeling overwhelmed at times or with the desire to leave the marriage altogether. When verbal and emotional abuse is consistently a common occurrence, it adds stress and lowers your self-esteem in your daily life. Secretly moving out of an emotionally abusive marriage is possible with both literal and mental preparation along with proper legal documentation.

Assess the current relationship you are in and create a list of the emotional and verbal abuse problems you have been experiencing with your spouse. This will help to motivate you when attempting to leave the relationship permanently.

Understand your own feelings and allow yourself to process them before making any rash decisions or moving out without planning ahead of time. Fully understanding your own feelings regarding the relationship will allow you to make a final decision with more confidence.

Create a plan to leave and create a list of everything you will need and that is rightfully owned by you.

Consult a lawyer to discuss options for separation and divorce--depending on the severity of the situation and your own personal desires for the relationship. Although lawyers are not free in most cases, they have the ability to help speed the process and cover all grounds for you legally with any documents required to complete the separation or divorce.

Make a plan on where you will live and rent a storage unit for your own belongings if necessary. Talk with family members, friends and other loved ones about staying with them temporarily or helping you to find resources and additional outlets for moving on.

Pack and move your belongings when your spouse is not home. Leave a note or send a letter to your spouse regarding the separation and let her know the reasons why you left, depending on how personal you would like the letter to read. Inform your spouse of any legal help you have hired or of the further options you are considering--ranging from couples therapy to personal counselling sessions for the relationship.

Warning

  • If the abuse in your relationship leads to verbal threats or physical violence, report it to your local police department immediately or file for a restraining order against your partner until the issues are resolved.

Photo Credits

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