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What to Say to Start a Relationship

by A. Low

If even the greatest of poets struggled to convey their romantic feelings, it is no wonder you feel intimidated by the idea of asking your date to start a relationship. Though the exact words will vary depending on your personality and style of speech, there are certain elements of this important conversation that you should include to make sure your honey understands that you want to be in an exclusive relationship.

An Honest Start

One of the key elements of a successful relationship is establishing honesty, according to the article "Building a Healthy Relationship From the Start," on the University of Texas website. You must honestly express your wants and needs. When you bring up this new relationship, does it mean you want to see her exclusively? Move in together? Or does it mean you want to explore an open relationship? Know what is important to you and be ready to explain it to your partner.

Absolute Clarity

Another essential aspect of inviting someone to go steady is clarity. For this reason, it is best to meet with him or her face-to-face instead of via text message, email or phone. As tempting as it may be to send off a carefully-crafted text, meanings can become convoluted through digital communication. If you are asking your friend to date you exclusively, you wouldn't want him to think the term "will you go out with me?" only means "will you go on a date?" Be straightforward when you want to ask someone to be in a relationship: "Are we a couple, now?" or "Are we exclusive?"

Get Creative

The way a relationship begins can often set the stage for the future, so why not do something unique or memorable to express your feelings? If your person of interest loves music, consider writing her a song. For a sports fanatic, woo her with tickets to a football game. Do something surprising, romantic or even humorous to help break the tension. But don’t neglect to discuss the important things afterwards. A cake that says “You + Me = Couple?” is cute, but you still need to talk about expectations and feelings.

Healthy Expectations

When you're ready to let your love interest know how you feel, go into it with realistic expectations. If your partner is a free spirit, don't be disappointed if she's not ready to commit. Also, don't expect your new relationship to fix any conflicts you may have experienced during casual dating. For example, if your partner is uncomfortable with physical intimacy, this will not suddenly change now. If you’re going to live together, set aside time to talk about how you will share in financial decisions and who will be responsible for what. If you’re beginning a long-distance relationship, you’ll have time and distance challenges to work through. Knowing what you may be up against as a couple will help you form a stronger bond.

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