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Romance Tips for Married Women & Men

by Karen Kleinschmidt

Married couples may feel less romantic and begin to reside with their partners as pseudo-roommates rather than engage in meaningful moments with them for many reasons. Career stress, child-rearing responsibilities, household maintenance, money struggles and caring for sick or aging parents are a few examples of reasons a spouse may begin to put the marriage on the back burner. Happy couples have different daily interactions with each other that keep the romance alive as compared to unhappy couples, suggests Mark Goulston, psychiatrist and author of "The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship."

Everyday Gestures

Just because the newness has worn off in your marriage, doesn't mean you should begin to take each other's presence for granted. Make an effort to go to bed at the same time each night, recommends Goulston. Get up after your partner falls asleep if you have left tasks unfinished. Even when you are not feeling sexual, touch each other on a daily basis by hugging and kissing each other hello and goodbye, walking hand-in-hand, rubbing your partner's feet, giving her a massage or keeping a hand on your partner's hand or knee while sitting together. This sends the message that you are not only together but enjoy being together.

Appreciation

Throughout the day, couples have the opportunity to show each other how much they love, admire, adore and appreciate one another, notes psychotherapist Jeffrey Sumber. Wink at your partner or use some other non-verbal method of communication to show your love across the kitchen table as you eat breakfast each morning. If you leave for work before your spouse, leave a sticky note, saying, "You are the best! I love you!" or make your husband his favorite lunch to take to work if you know he will be unable to get away from his desk for a greater part of the day. Embrace the attitude and thought process of celebrating your partner on a daily basis.

Communication

Communicate with each other on a daily basis. Set aside time, whether by phone or face-to-face to catch up on daily happenings and to connect with one another. Listen without judging your spouse, and empathize with him. Allow for deeper conversations by questioning your partner's fears, passions or dreams, advises psychologist Ryan Howes. Talking with each other in this manner allows married men and women to continue to learn new things about each other, which may allow for an increase in romantic feelings by rekindling the newness you had when you first met and opening up the discussion to discover what you want more of from each other in the present.

Date Each Other

Avoid allowing your marriage to become stale. Make a set time for each other each week. If you have young children and can't find a babysitter, agree to put the kids to bed and have a quiet, candlelit dinner together, followed by a movie or sitting with your favorite drink. Resist the temptation to blow it off because you are at home. Put it on your calendar and stick to it. Behaving in a romantic manner and spending time together will nurture your marriage, so make it a top priority.

About the Author

Karen Kleinschmidt has been writing since 2007. Her short stories and articles have appeared in "Grandma's Choice," "Treasure Box" and "Simple Joy." She has worked with children with ADHD, sensory issues and behavioral problems, as well as adults with chronic mental illness. Kleinschmidt holds a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Montclair State University.

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