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How to Recognize Signs of a Cheating Husband or Boyfriend

by eHow Contributor

Gone are the days of lipstick on his collar being the only tell-tale sign of a cheating husband. An observant and savvy wife can simply pay attention to a few key things to find out if her mate might be cheating. Bear in mind, these are not definite indications of a cheating husband, nor are they the only signs that he's cheating. Wives need to look out for any sudden change in his routine, attitude, and behavior. If you notice something out of the ordinary, start looking out for signs like these:

You notice that he has changed the way he dresses. A cheating husband will change his looks to attract and impress his mistress. Has he suddenly gone from wearing t-shirts and jeans, to wearing designer jeans and dressy shirts?

You notice that he's changed the music he listens to. A cheating husband will change his listening habits to music that his mistress listens to, because it reminds him of her. Of course everyone has a wide variety of bands they listen to, and we all start liking new bands over the years. But if he's gone from listening to classic rock to country and western, you should wonder why.

You notice that he's started smelling different. This isn't necessarily mean that he comes home smelling of someone else's perfume. A cheating husband will start hanging out in different places that he knows you or your friends don't frequent. If he comes home smelling of cigarette, and he doesn't smoke, you should start wondering where he's been.

He suddenly purchases a different kind of car. A cheating husband will often buy a new car, often a different type than he usually drives. Some cheating men send out subconscious indications without even knowing when they buy a new car. If you two have children, and he trades in his sedan for a two-seater, he might be subconsciously indicating that he's pulling away from family life. If he's never shown ANY interest in pickup trucks, but suddenly decides to buy one, you should start to wonder whose style he might be trying to satisfy.

You notice sudden and drastic changes in his work hours and/or pay. A lot of cheating men like the convenience of using work as an alibi. They might say they have to go in on the weekends, or that they have to work late. Of course, this is the truth for a lot of men, but if this is new and sudden for your husband, start paying close attention to his paychecks or direct deposits. Make sure that the hours he claims to be working are reflected on his paycheck and wages.

You notice that he's eating at nicer places at lunch, or is spending more at lunch time. A cheating husband will treat his mistress to lunch often, because it's one of the times during the day when he can be with her without you being suspicious. If he uses a debit card, you can easily check this online if your bank offers online banking (most do). If his lunch usually costs $10, and he's suddenly spending $20, or eating at nicer restaurants, take note of when this pattern started. Try to remember if he started exhibiting any other out-of-the-ordinary behavior at this time.

You notice that he's spending more time away from home. A cheating husband will look for any "good" excuse to get out of the house. If, after years of being a homebody, he suddenly starts "hanging out with the guys," or doing stuff around the house for his parents, follow up on it. If you suspect he might be cheating and he says he's going to a boys' night at his buddy's house, call him up a couple of hours later at that buddy's house. Don't call his cell, call his friend's land line.

You notice he's spending more time online. A cheating husband will use email, or instant messaging to converse with their mistresses right under the nose of their wives. Many people spend hours online every day. BUT if he's gone from watching tv with you every night, to spending hours online, there has to be a reason behind it. Think about installing a program on the computer that will capture keystrokes on emails and chats that he writes online. (Remember that it is illegal to install this software on computers that you do not own. If you're married, and the computer belongs to you and/or your husband, it is legal to install. If it is a computer that his company owns,it's illegal for you to install.)

You notice that he's changed his cell phone behaviors. A cheating husband will guard his phone because it is the primary way he communicates with his mistress. In this age of technology, the cell phone can be the number one indicator of a cheating husband. Watch for changes in his phone usage and behaviors. A cheating husband will suddenly start keeping his phone with him at all times, even when he goes to the bathroom or to bed. He may start turning it off when he gets home, rather than leaving it on like he used to. You may notice him sending or receiving an increased number of text messages. He might leave the room to take certain calls. Some cheating husbands will claim it's someone from work, but can be heard whispering into the phone (a normal person doesn't whisper things to a coworker). If you suspect your husband is cheating, you should also check his cell phone activity with the phone bill (this can usually be checked online, too), to see if he is frequently calling or texting one particular number during his work day.

Tip

  • Remember that changes in behavior might simply be changes in behavior. Only admission or concrete evidence is absolute proof that a husband has been cheating.

Warning

  • Don't accuse right away, if you've noticed a change in dress or preference in music, for instance. These are just indications that you should start paying closer attention to his other behaviors.

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