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How to Rebuild Trust With a Boyfriend

by Shannon Philpott

A breach in trust can significantly impact a relationship. If you and your boyfriend are struggling to overcome a lack of trust, it is possible to repair and restore your partnership over time. Through open communication, honest interactions and clear expectations for the relationship, the two of you can rebuild the bond you once embraced.

Acknowledge the Problem

It’s common to tell a little white lie here and there, but when you are in a committed relationship, even one lie can drastically impact trust. If you are not honest with each other or feel the need to foster secrets, suspicion and uncertainty can take its toll and even cause the downfall of your partnership. Even though it is difficult to acknowledge a lie, it is necessary to repair the trust, says Lynette Hoy, marriage and family counselor. Openly discuss what led to a lie or dishonest behavior to show that you are willing to work on the behavior, instead of ignoring it.

Get to the Root of the Problem

It is inevitable that disagreements will occur between you and your boyfriend. Learn to discuss your wants and needs openly instead of avoiding them with lies and dishonest actions. Launch a discussion about why one or both of you feel the need to stretch the truth or keep secrets. Together, analyze your communication patterns. If defensive behavior is common, tackle this issue by creating a plan to work through disagreements. It may also be helpful to enlist the help of a mediator or family therapist to tackle misunderstandings.

Admit When You Are Wrong

One of the hardest tasks in a relationship is admitting when you are wrong. Even though your ego may take a hit by laying your faults on the table, know that you are rebuilding trust with your partner by being honest. Admitting your faults shows genuine care for your boyfriend, says Randy Conley, trust practice leader for The Ken Blanchard Companies. Take ownership for any actions or lies that may have led to a breach in trust and it’s likely your boyfriend will feel compelled to do the same.

Offer Apologies and Forgiveness

Beyond admitting when you’re wrong, if there has been a breach of trust in your relationship, your boyfriend needs to know that you feel remorse. Offer a sincere apology if your actions caused hurt feelings or emotional pain. If your boyfriend offers an apology for his actions, agree to forgive and move forward to rebuild the relationship. Even though it’s difficult to forgive and forget, it’s best to leave the past in the past so that the two of you can embark on a new beginning with a clean slate.

About the Author

Shannon Philpott has been a writer since 1999. She has experience as a newspaper reporter, magazine writer and online copywriter. Philpott has published articles in St. Louis metro newspapers, "Woman's World" magazine, "CollegeBound Teen" magazine and on e-commerce websites, and also teaches college journalism and English. She holds a Master of Arts in English from Southern Illinois University.

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