Maintaining intimacy in long-term relationships isn't always easy. Your wife may be overwhelmed with the responsibilities of day-to-day life -- pushing sex to the very bottom of her list of priorities. Help her reorganize that list by getting her to relax, showing her how much you care and arousing her feelings of intimacy.
Certain foods have a reputation as being aphrodisiacs -- or something that has the power to increase sexual desire. For example, even the ancient Romans wrote about the immoral behavior of women who ate oysters, notes a March 2009 Psychology Today article, while great lovers throughout history attributed their sexual prowess to this shellfish. Besides the fact that oysters actually might have positive sexual effects because they're high in omega-3 fatty acids, which improves nervous system function, and are also high in zinc, which can increase sperm count, making your wife dinner and including some aphrodisiac foods in the menu can definitely help put her in the mood for other reasons as well: First, she'll love the idea that you're cooking for her and second, a mind-over-matter conversation about the aphrodisiac effects of the food you're serving can't hurt either. In addition to serving oysters, you might want to include pine nuts, which are also high in zinc and might increase the libido, as well as foods the contain garlic, which can improve intimacy by increasing blood flow. Also include asparagus in your meal as they can increase histamine production. Histamine can maximize the potential for climax and increase wakefulness -- a winning sexual combination. So light the candles and strategically plan your menu for a promising intimate feast.
Do the Housework
The research is varied, but some studies suggest that increasing your frequency of housework can also increase your frequency of sex. In fact, Dr. Berman, a sex and relationship expert, calls helping around the house "choreplay." Further, a study of 300 American husbands by Neil Chethik, published in his book, "VoiceMale: What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework and Commitment, found that men who performed more housework had sex one time more per month than men who did less housework. What this means is that watching you mop the floor may or may not actually arouse your wife, but helping out around the house will lighten her load and put her in a better mood -- making it the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Timing and Romance
Between the kids, work, pets and housework, your wife may be exhausted by the time you both fall into bed. If your wife often complains that she is too tired for intimacy, rethink your timing. Try waking her up with a back rub or join her in the shower. Your lunch hour may be the perfect time to sneak in a little alone time. Or, maybe the kids can spend a weekend afternoon with grandma and grandpa, so you can properly romance her. Get all dressed up and go out dancing, take in a show and have an elegant dinner. Make a pact not to talk about the kids, work or money worries and just focus on each other.
Bring Sexy Back
Perhaps your wife lost her sexual identity somewhere between the laundry room and the PTA meeting. Help her reclaim it. Maybe she doesn't know how much you desire her -- so tell her. Maybe she puts the needs of others before her own -- so stop her. Surprise her with a spa day. Arrange for her to have a pedicure, massage or facial, whatever you think she will enjoy. Once she is physically relaxed, help her get into a sexual mindset. Buy her beautiful lingerie, play mood-setting music or even try reading erotic fiction together. Keep in mind that you're bringing sexy back, so have fun and be creative.
- CBS News: Men: Want More Sex? Do the Laundry!
- The Flavorful Fork: The Power of Food to Arouse
- Dr. Laura Berman: Ask Dr. Berman: How Can I Get Her in the Mood?
- WebMD: Why Garlic Is Good for You
- Wholeliving.com: Power Foods: Asparagus
- The Telegraph: Oysters really are aphrodisiacs say scientists (and now is the time to eat them)
- Psychology Today: The Aphrodisiac: Foods and Libido
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