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How to Pull Away From a Narcissist

by Lars Tramilton

Dealing with a narcissistic individual can often be a nightmare, whether you are dating him, friends with him or simply working with him. When a person engages in narcissistic behavior, he tends to have an exaggerated concept of his self-worth and feels like his needs are more important than those of other people. Narcissistic people also often have a very deep-seated hunger for outside approval. If you want to distance yourself from a narcissist, take the appropriate actions.

Put a name to the issue. If you are dealing with a person that regularly engages in egotistical, vain and selfish behavioral patterns, one of the first step to distancing yourself is placing a name on the core issue. If someone is driving you crazy with utter selfishness and vanity, identify it and stop trying to completely blame yourself for how you are feeling.

Avoid letting the narcissistic behavior get to you. If you want to pull away from an egotistical person, the first step is to not let her actions and attitude bother you in any deep way. The more narcissistic behavior bothers you, the harder it is for you to forget about it and get away from it. Abstain from wasting your energy getting annoyed with the person, and instead realize that the situation is what it is.

Set strict ground rules. Narcissistic people can often be very manipulative in getting what they want. Narcissists tend to coerce other people into doing things they don't want to do out of purely selfish needs and concerns. Avoid being taken advantage of in this way by setting ground rules for yourself. Voice these boundaries to the narcissist. Take control of your own life and distance yourself from manipulation, guilt and control.

Think about your own happiness. One of the pitfalls many people experience is getting into the tedious and stressful cycle of trying to make a narcissist happy. If you put the needs of a narcissist before your own, you may end up shortchanging yourself. Get away from a narcissist by, for once, putting your own needs first. The more self-confidence you have, the easier it will be for you to break away from the hold that a narcissist has on you.

Stay away from conflict with a narcissist. If you simply want to get a narcissist out of your life, abstain from causing problems with him. Remember that fighting with someone who is only concerned about himself is usually fruitless and will only cause you unnecessary distress. To do this, avoid communication with the narcissist if possible, especially if it in any way can be interpreted as incendiary.

Tip

  • Before getting angry with a narcissist, remember that it cannot be easy to live a life where you constantly are looking for endless praise and admiration from other people. Think about encouraging a narcissist to seek outside help (through counseling, for example) before wasting your energy and time being upset.

About the Author

Lars Tramilton has been writing professionally since 2007. His work has appeared in a variety of online publications, including CareerWorkstation. Tramilton received a bachelor's degree with a focus on elementary education from Kean University.

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