In the 21st century, cohabitation with a significant other is the new norm. If you've never lived with a boyfriend before, you may have some trepidation about this option and wonder if it's right for you. Consider the benefits and drawbacks carefully before you take the plunge, and consider how each potential outcome is likely to come into play in your relationship.
Pro: Sharing Expenses
The practical benefits of sharing a home with your boyfriend are the same as they would be with any roommate. You will have a lower cost of living if you split utility, rent and other living costs. Depending on where you're at in your relationship, you may also be willing to consider making financial arrangements less like roommates and more like a married couple, sharing costs and household work according to what you each can afford and have time for rather than splitting half and half.
Con: Is Your Relationship Ready?
If your relationship isn't ready for the challenges that come with sharing your lives and responsibilities, living together may hurt or destroy a relationship that otherwise might have worked well. It's up to you and your boyfriend to decide when you're ready, but remember that just because you're crazy about each other doesn't mean you've developed enough intimacy and understanding to be able to share your lives and your living space.
Pro: Time Together
If living apart makes it difficult for the two of you to spend as much quality time together as you'd like to, living together will make it easier to find time without trying. Living together will also do away with any problems with finding private time together.
Con: Friends And Family
Not everyone in your life is likely to agree with your decision to live with a boyfriend when you're not married. Living together may mean that you have to keep secrets from some family and friends, or else deal with them expressing their opinions about your choices in an unwanted manner.
Pro: Practice For Marriage
Living together can help the two of you get a taste of how well you can live together and work together. If you're considering marriage, you may want to consider living together to make sure it brings you closer rather than tearing you apart.
Con: Breaking Up
If you sign a lease with your boyfriend, only to have the relationship end before the lease does, the two of you will be in the uncomfortable position of not being able to go your separate ways easily and quickly. Consider this problem especially if you are living in an area where month-to-month leases are hard to come by.
- "Marriage and Cohabitation"; Arland Thornton, William G. Axinn, Yu Xie.
- Psychology Today: Considering Cohabitation
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