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How to Help Promiscuous Teen Girls

by Tammy Dray

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention notes that among U.S. high school students surveyed in 2011, 47.4 percent had already had sex. However, keep in mind that there's a difference between a girl who has sex with her boyfriend and one who becomes promiscuous and careless about her sexual activity. The way you approach the subject of promiscuity with your teen can influence her reaction, as well as her future sexual behavior.

Get over your fear or embarrassment and have a talk with your daughter. You'll never know what your daughter is doing or why she's being promiscuous if you don't have an honest talk. Once you sit down to talk, ask the hard questions -- and ask them directly. Find out if she's using protection and ask why she's having sex. She might say that she enjoys sex -- or it might become clear that she's engaging in sex as a way to gain freedom or rebel. Finding out the root of the issue will help you deal with it.

Stay clear of accusations or trying to forbid your teen from acting the way she does. The truth is, you can't prevent your teen from sleeping around -- all you can do is try to help her understand why she's doing it, so she makes her own choice to stop. If you resort to screaming, yelling or making threats, you'll likely just make things worse.

Talk to your teen about the difference between responsible sexual activity and promiscuity -- but do it without passing judgment. Instead, focus your talk on making healthy sexual choices; for example, discuss the difference between having sex with a steady boyfriend and engaging in sexual activity with a stranger at a party.

Work on your teen's self-esteem. According to Mark Hutten, a counseling psychologist, girls with low self-esteem and a poor self-image start having sex earlier than girls who love themselves more. If your daughter is struggling with the way she looks, her weight or other personal issues, address those through counseling, regular talks or simply by telling her regularly that she is loved.

Get your teen involved in activities that will make her feel better about herself. This could mean volunteering at an animal shelter or bringing toys to family shelters -- or it could mean getting her involved in a team sport or something that will help improve her body image or self-esteem.

Warning

  • Promiscuity raises the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or an unplanned pregnancy. While your ultimate goal might be for your teen to stop having casual sex, you still need to talk about protection and avoiding pregnancy.

About the Author

Aside from writing experience, I also have coaching/teaching experience, both as an writing coach (currently teaching three workshops at www.coffeehouseforwriters.com) and an ESL (English-as-a-Second-Language)teacher abroad. I'm a certified Nutrition Consultant and fitness trainer and a longtime contributor to health/wellness publications, from Self to Marie Claire. I am fluent in Spanish and have worked as a translator and a language instructor. I also have two books forthcoming in 2008.

Photo Credits

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