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How to Get Past the Guard of a Shy Girl

by Kristen Moutria

If you are interested in a shy girl, you may feel intimidated when it comes to approaching her. You may not be sure of the best way to begin talking to her, or you might be afraid of coming on too strong. However, just because a girl is shy does not mean she is impossible to get to know. Taking a slow, sensitive approach when getting past the guard of a shy girl is the most effective way to begin a relationship with her.

Choose One-on-One Conversation

It's best to speak with a shy girl in a private setting as you begin to get to know her. In a group she may feel intimidated and hold back when it comes to having a real conversation with you. Furthermore, the pressure of being surrounded by several other people may cause her to leave you altogether in search of a more tranquil setting. Instead of speaking to her with many noisy people around, make it a point to go somewhere where the two of you can have a quality conversation, without interruption. However, make sure she feels comfortable wherever the two of you go.

Keep the Conversation Casual

During the beginning stages of your relationship with a shy girl, it may be useful to keep the conversation casual instead of diving into the heavier topics of life. Start by asking her basic informational questions, such as where she is from, what her family is like and what she enjoys doing in her free time. Beginning with such basic topics will pave the way to more serious discussions in the near future.

Respect Her Privacy

Be sure that you respect the privacy of a shy girl by not telling all your friends what the two of you talked about. If she discloses personal information, she will want to be certain that you are a trustworthy person. If you violate her trust, it will be very difficult to win her back. Choosing to keep what she tells you confidential will help you build a solid relationship, based on trust and respect.

Get Her to Talk About Herself

Asking a shy girl questions about herself will show her that you are genuinely interested in who she is as a person. After you have gotten past the surface conversation and are sure that she feels comfortable with you, ask her more personal questions about her past, her relationships and what means the most to her in life. It is conversations like these that bring two people closer and lead to the formation of a meaningful relationship.

About the Author

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

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