It's natural for children to disobey certain rules -- especially those that infringe upon their autonomy, according to Science Daily. Disobedience can also be a response to emotional disturbances that a child has not had a chance to resolve. Whatever the cause, it's natural to experience a range of emotions -- from frustration to sadness and beyond -- in response to your child's disobedience.
If your child repeatedly breaks house rules, such as refusing to clean up after himself or using profanity in the home, you may think he has little respect for you. You may get the impression that when you talk, your child intentionally ignores you. This can pose serious breakdowns in familial communication and have a negative impact on your relationship in the home. You can gain more respect by talking openly with your child, emphasizing how it feels to be ignored and addressing any barriers to following house rules.
When your child is disobedient, you may think your parenting is ineffective. Sometimes, parents have difficulties with consistency in discipline, and they pay when their children become older. Clinical psychologist Dr. Ruth Peters says that even if children didn't receive appropriate discipline during early and middle childhood, parents can learn to be more consistent. Furthermore, children can learn that they have to obey rules or suffer the consequences.
Naturally, anger is one of the most immediate emotions you may experience when your child is disobedient. This anger can be healthy and encourage you to confront your child and find solutions to her disrespect. However, it can also be unhealthy, building until it becomes explosive. Instead of letting this happen, embrace your anger and let it motivate you to find useful techniques that will teach your child to be more obedient.
If your child's disobedience is constant and unrelenting, you may have serious concerns. Some children's behavior is so extreme that parents seek professional help to assist them in identifying causes and initiating effective treatment. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics' HealthyChildren.org, one indication that it may be time to seek help is when your child's disobedience is coupled with aggression and destructiveness.
- Science Daily: When Will Children Disobey Parents? It Depends on the Rule
- HealthyChildren.org: Disobedience
- CrisisCounseling.com: House Rules and Reality for Teenagers and Adolescents
- Positive Discipline: Disrespectful Behavior
- RuthPeters.com: Q & A: I Feel Like an Ineffective Parent -- What Can I Do?
- HealthyChildren.org: The Disobedient Child
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