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How to Get Over an Affair

by eHow Contributor

Infidelity, extramarital affairs and cheating are situations no one wants to deal with. It's hurtful and has the potential of ruining lives. If you understand how to get over an affair, an affair can be a new beginning of a healthier relationship or the start of a new life. Here's how.

Give the relationship time to heal before immediately jumping back in. Both parties need time apart to think about their lives and where they want to take them.

Talk about what happened. Keep in mind it's not all about the sex. More likely than not, you'll find the affair had some to do with sex, but more to do with something missing in your relationship. Not one party is usually solely to blame. Allow honest open dialogue. Talk about expectations going forward and how each party plans on making concessions for what happened. Willingness to accept the truth is part of the healing process.

Focus on determining if your relationship is worth savaging, not on the third party. Don't obsess about their winning and the perceived hurt they've brought you. The only person obligated to you is your mate. Calling, visiting, writing or stalking the third party isn't constructive.

Cut ties with the other party. If the guilty party of your relationship continues holding onto the other person for any reason it's obvious where their commitment lies.

Put the ordeal behind you completely if you and your partner decide to continue your relationship. Don't expect the healing process to complete overnight, but forgiving, letting go and re-establishing your relationship with your mate is priority. Give yourself a chance to fall in love again.

Items you will need
  • Time, patience and effort