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How to Not Get Too Upset About Whether a Guy Likes You or Not

by Elise Wile, studioD

You know he's the right guy for you, so you think it should be obvious that you're the perfect girl for him. The guy you like is taking his time coming to that conclusion, however. Meanwhile, it is agonizing wondering if he's spending time with you because he likes you or because he is interested in going out with your best friend. Keep yourself from ruminating over a situation you have no control over by changing your actions and thoughts.

Do the Math

One hundred and two million people in the United States over the age of 18 were unmarried as of 2011, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. With roughly half of those people being men, it's safe to say that if the guy you like doesn't reciprocate your feelings, there will be other guys who will, as long as you get out and meet them. Don't hedge all your bets on one guy, as this gives him too much sway over your emotions. Concentrate on meeting other romantic prospects as well so you can disentangle yourself from your overwhelming feelings.

Know Your Purpose

It's easy to get sucked into worrying about a potential relationship while ignoring everything else you have to offer. You probably have a sense of overarching purpose in your life, and that purpose is likely not pining over a guy who may not realize that you exist. Spend your time working within your purpose -- honing your talents, working diligently or giving piano lessons to disadvantaged children, for instance -- and your angst over your crush's romantic indecisiveness is likely to f ade into the background.

Change Your Thoughts

While thoughts may seem impossible to control, they're not. The key is paying attention to them. If you find yourself biting your nails, ask yourself what you were thinking. If the answer is "Mark spent more time talking to Jennifer last night than to me," it's time to switch gears. Replace that thought with a positive thought, suggests licensed mental health practitioner Erica Krull in the article "Replacing Your Negative Thoughts" on Psych Central. Speaking the new positive thought out loud makes it even more powerful. Try saying "I am a confident woman who has plenty of romantic options" for a quick boost.

Get Busy

It's easier to deal with your worrisome thoughts about the guy of your dreams if you're immersed in learning to dance merengue or are going over irregular Spanish verbs for your test on Friday. If you find yourself becoming upset, do something so engaging that there simply won't be room in your brain for obsession. Pretty soon you'll go from agonizing over whether he's going to call to dancing to "La Cadena Se Rompio."

About the Author

Elise Wile has been a writer since 2003. Holding a master's degree in curriculum and Instruction, she has written training materials for three school districts. Her expertise includes mentoring, serving at-risk students and corporate training.

Photo Credits

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