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How to Not Get Nervous When a Guy Kisses You

by April Sanders, studioD

It's normal to feel a little bit nervous when you think about kissing someone you care about -- especially if it's a first kiss. Although kissing can be a way of greeting someone or a casual way to show affection, it's romantic kissing that makes most people feel nervous. As with most things, the more you practice kissing, the easier it gets. In the meantime, calm your nerves by boosting your self-confidence.

Know That You're in Good Company

It might help you feel less nervous if you know you aren't alone. Most women are nervous when a guy leans in for a kiss -- and the guy is almost as nervous. In fact, when Cal State Los Angeles professor of psychology Pamela Regan lectured about this to her students, three of them asked if they could perform a survey about how people feel during their first kiss. The students gathered data from a large sample of young adults and found that about 85 percent of men and almost 95 percent of women recall being anxious and nervous about their very first kiss, as reported in the "Psychology Today" article "The Very First Kiss: Momentous or Disastrous?" And although these figures reflect how the respondents felt before their very first kiss, there is still bound to be an element of nervousness before each first kiss with a new boyfriend. Reminding yourself that he also is probably a bit anxious can help ease the nerves a bit.

Prepare in Advance

You might not be able to control the exact location and moment of the kiss, but you can do some things to prepare in advance. If your guy takes you out to dinner, avoid eating spicy foods or foods that contain garlic. Brush your teeth well, use lip balm to soften your lips, and carry mints or gum to keep your breath fresh. Doing these things will help you feel more confident that you are at your best when he does lean in for a kiss.

Keep It in Perspective

Keep in mind that the first kiss from a guy is not necessarily going to set the tone for your entire relationship. In fact, men and women often have very different reactions during and after a kiss. In general, women felt a bit more negatively after their first kiss than men did. A kiss is just a kiss -- it usually doesn't tell you a whole lot about a person. A kiss doesn't tell you what a person values, what he enjoys doing or who that person really is. Even if the first kiss is somewhat awkward, it doesn't mean the relationship won't progress and even flourish. On the other hand, it could mean that the guy isn't the right one for you -- and that's OK, too.

Take Your Time

One reason you may feel nervous is because you feel rushed to do something you aren't ready to do. It's important to distinguish between normal jitters and more serious nerves. In the case of the latter, it could be your brain warning you that you aren't quite comfortable with this guy kissing you -- at least not yet anyway. Let him know that you aren't ready for that step. A guy who is willing to wait until you are ready shows that he truly cares about your feelings, and a guy who isn't willing to wait is someone you should cut loose.

About the Author

April Sanders is a writer, teacher and the mother of three boys. Raised on an organic farm, she is an avid gardener and believes that good growth starts with a rich, supportive foundation -- a philosophy that serves her well in both gardening and teaching. Sanders has written for Nickelodeon, Warner Brothers, Smarted Balanced, PARCC and others.

Photo Credits

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