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How to Not Get Bored in Marriage

by Kristen Moutria

Marriage is full of unexpected and uncomfortable challenges, and one of these is learning to prevent both you and your partner from becoming bored with your relationship. Judith Wallerstein, author, divorce psychologist and founder of the Judith Wallerstein Center for the Family in Transition, reports in "Huffington Post" that boredom can be a contributing cause of a dying marriage, but it is unlikely that one partner is wholly responsible. In order to prevent boredom and stay satisfied in your marriage, learn to have fun with your spouse, discover more about her, discuss your passions and make her laugh.

Discuss you passions with your spouse. Sharing your heart with your lover and explaining what excites you is a way to build intimacy in your relationship. Sharon Rivkin, a marriage and family therapist, reports that as you discuss what you are learning and feeling with your spouse, you may learn a lot from each other and get the special opportunity to engage in compelling dialogue.

Do something exciting as a couple. Taking a risk together may be what your marriage needs to become more interesting. Amie M. Gordon, doctoral candidate in Social-Personality Psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, suggests that participating in arousing and novel activities will keep you from getting bored. Engaging in these risky activities with your partner will cause you to practice cooperation, as well as allow you to experience an activity that will bring you closer together.

Use humor in your marriage. The American Psychological Association lists one of nine psychological tasks for a good marriage as using humor and laughter to keep the hard times in perspective, as well as prevent boredom in your relationship. As you make your partner laugh, you will make her day a little more interesting and help her avoid becoming overwhelmed with the monotonous nature of day-to-day living. She will appreciate your efforts and feel closer to you as a result.

Discover more about one another. Randi Gunther, a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor, says that many married couples have given up on the excitement of discovering more about one another, as they did when they first got together. Instead, she advises devoting yourself to continuous discovery about one another's hearts, minds, bodies and memories. Focus on your capacity to excite your partner so he wants to learn more about you, and he will attempt to become more interesting to you in return.

Tip

  • Do not lose heart if boredom has already taken over a large part of your marriage. By devoting yourself to making your relationship more interesting, you will become closer to your spouse and be armed with the knowledge you need to prevent marital boredom in the future.

About the Author

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

Photo Credits

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