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How to Nicely Tell Your Boyfriend to Stop Checking Out Girls

by C. Giles

No girl likes to know that her boyfriend checks out other girls. However, it's a given that everyone -- both men and women -- likes to look at attractive things, including people. The occasional appreciative glance is completely harmless. When your boyfriend regularly checks out other girls in front of you, it's not so easy to turn a blind eye. However angry or frustrated you are with his behavior, talking to him nicely about it will stop you from coming across as paranoid or possessive.

Prepare Yourself

A little preparation before you confront your boyfriend about his wandering eye will help the conversation go in your favor. Consider the possibility that you are overreacting. Your boyfriend may simply be friendly. Perhaps you are prone to jealousy and reading too much into completely innocent behavior. A relative or close friend will tell you honestly if your boyfriend checks other girls out too much. If nobody else thinks you have anything to be annoyed or concerned about, perhaps the problem lies with you.

Keep Your Cool

Staying calm and reasonable when you speak to your boyfriend will reduce the risk of an argument. Tell him you completely understand that it's normal for him to look at girls he finds attractive, but add that you think he has crossed a line. Explain how his behavior makes you feel. Say something such as, "I feel uncomfortable when you stare at other girls in front of me, and I'd like you to please stop it." You must give him a chance to respond. Chances are, he's not even aware of what he's doing and will feel bad that he's upset you.

Working Together

If your boyfriend gets angry or defensive or blames you for his wandering eye, you have bigger problems in your relationship that must be dealt with. Listen to what he says and decide if there is any truth in it or if he is just trying to justify his behavior. He may be staring at other girls to provoke you because he feels you don't show him enough attention. Think about how you treat him and consider whether you may be taking him for granted or withholding affection. Don't let him pin all the blame on you, but try to look at the bigger picture to determine whether areas of your relationship need improvement.

When It's Time to Go

If your boyfriend is unable to address the issues in your relationship or unwilling to stop checking out other girls in front of you, listen to your instincts. If you cannot trust him, put yourself first and move on. You deserve to be in a healthy relationship with a guy who will concentrate on you, not other girls.

About the Author

C. Giles is a writer with an MA (Hons) in English literature and a post-graduate diploma in law. Her work has been published in several publications, both online and offline, including "The Herald," "The Big Issue" and "Daily Record."

Photo Credits

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