our everyday life

How to Nicely Say Farewell in a Relationship

by Candice Coleman

Though a romance once played at your heart strings, the relationship has gone south and you see no way to improve it. Acknowledging the end of a relationship can be a painful process. It can also leave you uncertain of how to end it on a positive note with your partner. Though you may not be able to prevent your partner's pain, you can end it in a way that may minimize any hurt.

Preparation

While you may be eager to say "adios" to your partner, take the time to ensure a break-up is what you want to do. Making amends and trying to get back together in the future may be more complicated than working on any problems inside of the relationship, according to KidsHealth. Practice what you want to say ahead of time and think about any possible reactions. It can be normal for your partner to be angry, accusatory, sad or even complacent with the breakup.

What to Say

Maybe you no longer feel attracted to your other half, or maybe a serious problem has caused a rift that makes a breakup necessary. No matter the cause, try explaining the facts of the breakup without being cruel for best effect, according to WebMD. Saying, "I have had trouble trusting again since the affair and I need to move on," may reap more benefits than telling your partner that the break-up is her fault. Breakups are also not the time for telling lies to spare your partner's feelings; she deserves an honest explanation of why the break is happening. Though you may want to avoid a breakup discussion, it should occur in person or on the phone. Never end your relationships by email.

Post Break-Up

The breakup discussion outlines your intentions for the future, including whether or not the two of you will have a relationship going into the future. Avoid making empty promises during or after a breakup, like telling your ex that you "might" get back together or that you can still be friends if you intend to drift apart, as these can give your ex false hope, according to KidsHealth. If the relationship was an unhappy one, avoid badmouthing or spreading rumors about your former partner.

Additional Information

Not all breakups go according to plan. Sometimes, it might be a struggle to explain to your partner why you want to leave -- maybe nothing has changed but your feelings, according to the dating website, "Match.com." A counselor or friend may be able to guide you through what to say, in addition to role-playing through the scenario.

About the Author

Candice Coleman worked in the public school system as a middle school and high school substitute teacher. In addition to teaching, she is also a tutor for high school and college students.

Photo Credits

  • Comstock/Comstock/Getty Images