Taking the next step in your relationship and moving in with your boyfriend can be an exhilarating experience, but also one that you want to approach with style and decorum to minimize complications during and after the move. While it may be tempting to move in and take over your boyfriend's space, giving him some element of control and personal space will assist in making the move run smoothly and comfortably for both of you.
Chances are your boyfriend's apartment is lacking a certain feminine touch. You may even consider yourself lucky if he has window dressings and bath mats. Whether your boyfriend's apartment is in serious need of an interior designer, or if he excels in the home decor front, avoid making your first mission upon moving in to get rid of his pint glasses, posters and otherwise tacky decorations. Just as your relationship is a result of a combination of you and your boyfriend's personalities and interests, your new home should reflect the best of both of you.
One way to solve the problem with decorating is to give your boyfriend a dedicated space of his own. Whether you decide to give your boyfriend the space to have a full-fledged man cave, or jurisdiction over a common area such as the living room, giving your boyfriend the space to retain aspects of his former home in your shared home may make the transition easier on him.
Chances are that you and your boyfriend have different living habits, from your morning restroom routines to how you stack the dishes. Moving in with your boyfriend will require that both you both make adjustments. This may include educating your boyfriend on the concept of picking up after himself in the kitchen and bathroom, while also accepting some of your boyfriend's preferences. Setting up a schedule of chores and duties may be helpful to ensure that both of you are accountable for keeping up your new home. Living together is about a shared experience; remember, you're his girlfriend not his mother.
Maintaining Your Personal and Dating Identities
Living together can at times feel suffocating if you and your boyfriend don't have your own individual lives outside of the relationship. Giving your boyfriend time to have his friends over to play cards or scheduling regular girls' nights can help to maintain your personal identity after moving in with one another. One aspect of dating that can easily fall to the wayside after moving in together is the concept of dating. Now that you spend almost every waking minute together, you should make an extra effort in still treating dating as something special. Get dressed up for one another, plan dates and do things outside of your home to solidify your identity as a dating couple.
- Journal of Family Psychology: Timing Is Everything: Pre-Engagement Cohabitation and Increased Risk for Poor Marital Outcomes
- Forbes: 10 Things I Learned Moving in With a Guy
- The Commission on Marriage and Family Support Initiatives: Learning from Jay Teachman’s Premarital Sex, Cohabitation and Divorce: The Broken Link
- USA Today: Living Together No Longer "Playing House"
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