our everyday life

What Makes Men Feel Needed in a Relationship?

by Sarah Casimong, studioD

Men need to feel needed in a relationship, according to “It Just Makes Sense: Common Sense Living in an Everyday World” by Kym Coco, stress management speaker, and Stephen Thompson, philosophy and psychology teacher. Knowing that his significant other needs him can make a man feel important and boost his self-esteem. Make your man feel like he is fulfilling his purpose in the relationship by emphasizing how he is needed.

Seeking Solace

When you lean on your man for emotional support, you’re letting him know that you need his listening ear, advice or sympathy. However, in the YourTango article, “4 Ways To Bring Him Emotionally Closer to You,” relationship coach Kristina Marchant warns against whining or complaining when seeking emotional support. Talk to him about your issue, not at him, so that he will feel needed but not used. Let him know you appreciate that he’s there for you and know when to end the venting session -- don’t drag out the conversation after he’s given you advice and comfort. Continuing negative talk can overwhelm him, especially if he feels needed but feels that he can’t do anything to make you feel better.

Pursuing Physical Intimacy

Express your need for physical intimacy with your partner to make him feel needed and desired. In “Making Sense of the Men in Your Life: What Makes Them Tick, What Ticks You Off, and How to Live in Harmony,” psychologist Kevin Leman stresses the importance of making your man know that you desire him sexually. Not only will it reassure him that you find him attractive, it will let him know that he fulfills your physical needs.

Showcasing Strengths

Let your guy put his strengths to good use. Ask your partner to help you with a task that he will give him a sense of accomplishment, however little. If he is proud of how much he can bench press in the gym, get him to do chores that require heavy lifting. If he is good with words, ask him for help on your morning crossword. This will reassure him that his skills and strengths are useful.

Acknowledgement and Appreciation

Always show appreciation and be thankful for whatever he does, whether you have to make a request or if he offers. Thank him for things like helping with tasks around the house or letting you unload your emotions on him after a stressful day. Don’t leave it at a simple “Thank you,” let him know how he makes you feel and how his help and actions have made a difference. The more you express your appreciation, the more he will feel his actions and help are truly needed.

About the Author

Sarah Casimong is a Vancouver-based writer with a Bachelor's degree in journalism from Kwantlen Polytechnic University. She writes articles on relationships, entertainment and health. Her work can be found in the "Vancouver Observer", "Her Campus" and "Cave Magazine".

Photo Credits

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