At some point in a serious relationship, the question of whether or not this is all leading to marriage occurs to one, or both, of you. If you're already decided that he's marriage material, you may be wondering whether he's feeling the same way. While there is no sure-fire way of knowing if your boyfriend will ever propose, if it doesn't seem likely, you need to consider how -- and if -- you'll continue in the relationship.
Blinded by Love
It's a true truism: Sometimes love really is blind. Talk to your close friends and family and ask for their honest opinion on whether or not this man will ever propose. Perhaps your rose-colored glasses prevent you from seeing what's clear to everyone else. The insight of others outside of the relationship can be invaluable when determining his intentions for your relationship.
If your boyfriend does not publicly identify you as his girlfriend on social media outlets like Facebook, it might be a sign that he is not as committed to the relationship as you are and may not plan on proposing in the foreseeable future. This also includes removing tagged photos or photos of the the two of you together or deleting posts or comments from you on his news feed.
Casually bring up the idea of getting married with your boyfriend by mentioning how nice a friend's wedding was, or suggest a random stop at the mall jewelry store during your next shopping trip. Your boyfriend's responses to your proposal queries can be a telltale sign of whether he plans to propose or whether he is comfortable keeping your relationship where it is. If your boyfriend shies away from jewelry stores, becomes distant or acts annoyed when the subject of marriage comes up, he may not be planning to propose any time soon. If your boyfriend seems engaged in marriage conversations, is open about talking about your future together and seems to enjoy ring shopping and faux-wedding planning, he may be interested but there may be another element keeping him from proposing.
While you may feel that this is pushy, the most direct manner of gauging your boyfriend's feelings about marriage requires that you ask him directly. After being together for a significant amount of time, it is normal and healthy to have a talk about where your relationship is, where it's going and what you'd like in the future. During this talk, discuss your thoughts for the future, including seeing yourself being married and possible having a family.
What if He Doesn't Ask?
If your ultimate goal in your relationship is to get married, you must be prepared to face the reality that your boyfriend might not propose. One way to prepare yourself is to set up a timeline of what you believe to be realistic expectations in your relationship. This timeline can include how long you are willing to wait for a proposal along with other milestones such as moving in together.
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: The Developmental Course of Conflict in Dissolution of Premarital Relationships
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: Premarital Relationship Stability: A Review of Recent Research
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: Life-Stage Differences in Communication During Marital Conflicts
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: Lovers Wear Rose Colored Glasses
- CBS News: When's A Guy Ready For Marriage?
- MSN Lifestyle: 7 Surprising Signs He'll Never Marry You
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