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How to Get the Man You Love to Express His Feelings

by Ashlea Campbell, studioD

Getting the man you love to express himself is not an easy task. In fact, you mind find that it seems impossible. If you make an effort to express your feelings to him, you may feel shunned or rejected if he does not do the same in return. His lack of expression may seem like he doesn’t care, but this is not always a clear indication of that.

Understanding the Rationale

There are many reasons that your boyfriend or husband may not feel comfortable expressing himself to you or others. In his article on men’s struggles with expressing themselves, certified life coach and relationship expert Stephan Labossierre gives three possible reasons why men may struggle to share their emotions. Some men may have been raised not to express their feelings. Their parents and other family members may have inexplicably taught them to believe that sharing emotions is unacceptable. Similarly, some men may have had negative experiences with expressing their feelings. This may have caused them to proceed with extreme caution in their relationships. Additionally, some men may feel that sharing their feelings may prevent them from achieving what they desire.

Be Open

Your boyfriend may struggle to share his emotions because he may not feel as though you do not reciprocate the act. Reflect on your interactions with your significant other, specifically your reaction to conflicts and crises as they occur. If you are with the man you love during or for the aftermath of a conflict or crisis, try to see if you share your feelings with your man. If you find that you do share your feelings with your man, inform him of how you share your feelings with him. Tell him that while this is your method of sharing, he can find something that works better for him. If you find that you do not share your feelings with your man, make an effort to express yourself more when necessary.

Explore All Options

Your man may want to express himself, but may not be clear on how to go about doing so. You can provide him with some ways that work for you, but realize they may not work for him. Encourage him to ask himself what would happen if he expresses himself in a certain manner. Then, have him look at what may happen if he expresses himself in the opposite manner, or does not express himself at all. Sometimes, getting him to predict all possible outcomes can help him make the best decision on expressing himself.

Follow Your Intuition

The man you love may not ever express himself in the manner in which you desire. However, this does not mean that you should give up on him or the relationship. If you feel comfortable exploring other avenues to get him to express himself, then work on it. If you feel as though it is a battle you would rather not fight, then move on. Whatever you choose, don't give up sharing and expressing your feelings.

About the Author

Ashlea Campbell writes about families, relationships and health-related issues. In addition to writing professionally, she teaches writing courses at Collin College in Plano, Texas. She holds a Masters degree in English education from the University of Kansas.

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