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How to Make My 5-Year-Old Calm Down

by Palmer Owyoung

Five-year-olds are just coming into their own in the world and they will often test boundaries and push you to see how far they can go. Part of being a good parent is teaching your children how to manage their emotions and showing them by example what is appropriate and what isn't. If you have a tendency to shout and throw temper tantrums in public then they are likely to do the same. If you want your child to be happy and well adjusted one of the most important things that you can do is to teach them a constructive way to deal with their stress.

Find out why your child is upset. It may be something that is easily remedied, like he's hungry, thirsty or hurt. Help him find a solution to the problem.

Be firm in disciplining your five-year-old. If she is throwing a temper tantrum as a means of manipulating you to get something, don't just give in. This sends the message that if she screams and shouts enough that she will eventually get you to buy her an ice cream cone or new toy. If this works once your child will continue this sort of behavior.

Teach your child how to control his emotions. When he is very upset ask him to close his eyes breathe deeply 10 times. Ask him to imagine himself in a calm tranquil environment such as a beach or a park. Practice this method of meditation with your child on a daily basis and he will eventually develop a calmer mind. Start with five minutes and slowly work your way up to meditating for 15 to 30 minutes a day.

Send your child to his room when he is upset. With a firm voice, ask him not to come back until he is calm. Talk to him when he is calm, and inform him that arguing when someone is upset will not do any good.

Train your five-year-old child to express himself when he is angry or upset in a constructive manner. Instead of throwing tantrums and making a mess, teach him to write down his emotions in a journal or express them through drawing or physical activity such as a punching bag, running or swimming.

Show your five-year-old child what he looks like when he is upset. Video tape him when he is throwing tantrums, and show him the video when he has calmed down. Ask him how he would deal with a person acting in this manner. Do not criticize him, but make him realize that it is not proper to behave aggressively toward other people.

Reward your child when he is behaving calmly. When he demonstrates emotional self-control give him praise with a hug, a kiss and an occasional treat. This is called positive reinforcement and shows him how to be emotionally self-disciplined.

About the Author

I am the author of two novels, one of which can be viewed on Amazon.com. It's called Halcyon Daze.

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