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How to Maintain the Friend Zone on My Terms With a Guy

by Anthony Oster, studioD

Maintaining the status quo in your friendship can be easier said than done when your male friend has shown a romantic interest that extends beyond friendship. Whether you are seeing someone else, if your friend isn't your type or you just don't want to risk losing your friendship, keeping your guy friend in the friend zone requires that you set firm boundaries and avoid sending mixed signals to prevent your friend from thinking that your relationship is more than platonic.

Be upfront with your friend and tell him that you are not interested in dating him.

Tell your friend that you will not tolerate romantic advances, dates or gifts. Although this may seem harsh, setting firm boundaries with your friend can minimize any mixed signals in the relationship and keep your friendship firmly planted in the friend zone.

Reschedule events that would pit you and your friend together alone or invite more friends along to avoid giving the impression that your outings are dates in disguise.

Avoid going on romantic outings together, such as concerts, movies, nice restaurants or anything else that he could misconstrue as a date.

Avoid giving each other romantic or intimate gifts. Treating your guy-friend like a boyfriend sends mixed signals and may cause him to break your established boundaries.

Be prepared to call off the friendship if your guy-friend cannot separate your friendship from a romantic relationship. Though you may not want to call off your friendship, if your guy-friend insists on violating the basic boundaries of your friendship, it may be the only solution if your goal is to remain strictly platonic with him.


  • Try hooking up your guy-friend with one of your friends. This will enable you to hang out with your friends regularly, while also keeping your friend safely in the friend zone.

About the Author

Anthony Oster is a licensed professional counselor who earned his Master of Science in counseling psychology at the University of Southern Mississippi. He has served as a writer and lead video editor for a small, South Louisiana-based video production company since 2007. Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company.

Photo Credits

  • Leonard Mc Lane/Digital Vision/Getty Images