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Loving Somebody Else After a Divorce

by Shannon Philpott

The process of divorce can take its toll on your emotional and physical health. Although the idea of dating and loving someone else may seem daunting after coping with heartbreak and healing, it is possible to rekindle your romantic side. Once you open your mind and heart to a new mate, love may be just around the corner.

Heal First

It’s important that you put the past behind you. Unresolved feelings or bitterness can taint a new relationship. Seek out friends or spiritual advisers who can help you talk through your emotions to prepare for dating in the future. A professional counselor or support group may provide you with tools to work through emotions and issues that have prevented you from healing.

Tackle Fear

Fear may be the biggest obstacle when seeking love after a divorce. The pain, anger and mistrust of your previous relationship is always in the back of your mind, but try to focus also on the good times your past relationships have sparked. Remember that you took a risk with each person you loved, and the good memories reinforce the benefits of those risks. Tackle your fears one by one: venture to new places, force yourself to approach singles at events and put your personality on display. Fear makes you a victim; to love again, you must take a chance.

Know Yourself

The saying that you must love yourself first before loving others holds true, especially after divorce. This is your chance to really get to know your likes and dislikes when it comes to relationships. Think long and hard about your actions, reactions and patterns in previous relationships and evaluate your needs and wants in a committed partnership. Learn to love yourself for who you are so that your true self can be on display for a new love. Rekindling your love for yourself will allow you to love someone else completely.

Take the Plunge

Once you have healed from the pain of past relationships, tackled your fears of love and discovered your needs and wants, it’s time to test the waters. Trust yourself so that you can trust others and begin relationships based on friendship and mutual respect. Welcome the idea of love so that your potential relationships can prosper and grow into a commitment that is healthy for your heart and your soul.

About the Author

Shannon Philpott has been a writer since 1999. She has experience as a newspaper reporter, magazine writer and online copywriter. Philpott has published articles in St. Louis metro newspapers, "Woman's World" magazine, "CollegeBound Teen" magazine and on e-commerce websites, and also teaches college journalism and English. She holds a Master of Arts in English from Southern Illinois University.

Photo Credits

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