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How to Live on Your Own After Divorce

by Contributing Writer

When every part of your daily routine and mind-set has been centered on how you interact with another person, it can be difficult to feel your way around being single again. It's important to give yourself time to mourn and recover, but it's also vital to rediscover the joys of independence. There are many advantages open to you, and it's helpful to explore them even while you are giving yourself time to readjust to your new life.

How to Live on Your Own After Divorce

Make your new apartment or house a true home. When you have moved into your new home, arrange your furniture and possessions in a way that maximizes both attractiveness and comfort. While recreating some of the atmosphere from your home with your spouse in the possessions you have that you once shared, make a point of acquiring pictures, pieces of furniture or other items you enjoy and that your spouse may have discouraged. Make your new home a true expression of your design aesthetic and tastes. Enjoy your own space.

Create a comfortable new routine for yourself. Research recipes that you can make and freeze in batches so that you can enjoy a healthy, home-cooked meal without working too hard on weeknights. Resist the urge to sit in front of the television as soon as you get home from work. Eat at a table with a book, or listen to a favorite radio station or podcast. Vary your routine when you're home alone so that you can enjoy yourself without feeling like you are wasting time.

Reach out to your friends on a regular basis. Your time is more free now that you aren't sharing so much of your life with a spouse. Call or email friends you may not have spoken to in a while, and ask them how they are doing. Find groups to join so that you can meet new friends as well. Explore churches, knitting groups, sports clubs, community theater or any other pursuits that interest you. Take a class in something you always thought about but never thought you had the time to try.

Begin an exercise routine if you don't already have one. Get up 15 minutes earlier to take a walk or a bike ride before work. Join a gym that has regular exercise classes to meet new people as well as feel better about your body. Make some changes in your exercise routine if you already have one. Consider taking a new class, trying yoga or Pilates, or even simply walk or run in a new direction. Making changes in your routine will keep it fresh and interesting.

Plan a trip, either alone or with friends. This gives you something to anticipate, save money for and enjoy the planning process. Pick a place that you've never seen before or have never been to with your spouse. Focus on creating fun new memories as a single person.

Items you will need
  • Your own home
  • Friends
  • New occupations and interests
  • Familiar routines
  • New routines