Finding yourself angry with a male companion can leave you feeling frustrated or confused. This is because it can be difficult to address conflict with someone you care about. Learn how to address negative issues without resorting to hurtful actions.
Identify the actual problem. Find a quiet moment to remember the event along with your feelings throughout the incident. Ask yourself important questions, like whether your problem stems from an isolated occurrence or if you’re overreacting about the situation. Stay honest, as failing to do so could cause you to bury feelings—and that may lead to increased relationship turmoil.
Select a private moment to address your issue with him. Let him know that you wish to talk to him about something that’s been bothering you. Ask him to listen without interrupting you or judging your feelings. Explain that you’re willing to do the same, as you don’t want him to feel as if he’s on trial. Avoid initiating this conversation if you aren't sure that you’ll have ample time to finish it.
Use straightforward dialogue. Relay your specific issues using concise yet detailed statements. Avoid offending him with emotionally charged language, which includes statements such as “you always make me feel stupid,” or “you never listen to me.” According to FamilyEducation.com, using yourself as the subject of your statements can facilitate positive communication. Remember that reaching a positive outcome requires restraint and a commitment to constructive self-expression.
Refrain from changing your stance to avoid conflict. Doing so may be interpreted as a sign of weakness or as a passion for fighting. It can also make it harder for you to get him to listen to you next time there's a conflict. Let him know that while you may not stay angry with him forever, your feelings are real.
Listen to his side of the story. Staying open to his side of the story can reduce the chances of your conversation deteriorating into an argument. Discuss ways that you can avoid conflict in the future. According to AchieveSolutions.com, practicing active listening techniques shows your interest. This includes repeating back his feelings and giving him direct eye contact. Close the discussion by apologizing for any wrongdoing on your part and thanking him for his time and attention.
- Accepting his apology if it’s offered can signal your maturity and willingness to move forward.
- Resorting to name-calling or digging up past issues can sabotage your attempts at honest communication.
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