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How to Get Your Kids to Respect You

by Emily Weller

As a parent, you want to have children who respect you and are not impolite or disagreeable. Teaching respect to children can be difficult, especially if they are not used to being respected or seeing it demonstrated in their daily lives. While you cannot force a child to respect you, you can do your best by modeling good behavior and teaching him the basics of a respectful relationship.

Demonstrate respectful behavior to your child. You don't want her to yell at you or demand things from you, so don't yell at her or demand things from her. Children model want they see adults doing. If you use curse words and other strong language in front of a child, don't be surprised when you hear the child use the same words with you.

Show your child the proper way to ask for items or help. Always say "please" when you order food at a restaurant and say "thank you" when it arrives. When your child helps you out, say thank you to him. If you have to ask your child to do something, such as a bring you a glass of water, use "please" when asking.

Keep calm when your child is disrespectful. If your child calls you a name, don't yell or leap to punishment right away. Instead, remind her politely that name-calling isn't something you do. Remind her of the polite and correct way to respond to an upsetting situation or ask for something. If you get worked up, your child may see name calling or other disrespectful behavior as a game and may do it to see how much of a rise she can get out of you.

Discipline your child when necessary. Sometimes a child will need a time out to calm down during a tantrum. Stand your ground about the time out and be firm about it. Demonstrating consistency is a great way to get respect, as your children will quickly learn not to listen or heed what you say if you appear to be a pushover.

Praise your children when they are respectful to you and other adults. For example, if they politely ask their aunt for a glass of water, comment on the way they asked. Say something along the lines of "Thank you for saying please." Complimenting them will reinforce good behavior and encourage respect.

About the Author

Based in Pennsylvania, Emily Weller has been writing professionally since 2007, when she began writing theater reviews Off-Off Broadway productions. Since then, she has written for TheNest, ModernMom and Rhode Island Home and Design magazine, among others. Weller attended CUNY/Brooklyn college and Temple University.

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